Sex, Birthday, TMI, Send nudes Miscellaneous Oh no…

Oh no…

Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Happy Birthday baby!

Anonymous - 06/12/2020 18:02 - Philippines - Quezon City

Today, it's my birthday. My parents wished me a happy one via text message. We live in the same house. FML

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Happy birthday anyway!

bdaygirl - 11/05/2024 10:00 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I received a short happy birthday message from my father. He’s never been one to show affection, and I haven’t spoken to him in months since he only reaches out to ask for money. This might have given me hope that he cares or wants a relationship with me. Except… it’s not my birthday, and I don’t think he knows that. FML

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Anonymous - 20/11/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

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Generic Happy Birthday gif

Anonymous - 26/06/2021 14:15 - United States

Today, I'm still trying not to cry. Yesterday was by birthday. I got an email from my dad with three words, "Happy Birthday (nickname)". I got a Facebook post from my mother. No card. No phone call. No gift. I have become nothing more than a Facebook friend to my parents. FML

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Cool story, tell it again

GGimabeast - 29/07/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

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carboncoach - 13/12/2013 17:24 - Egypt

Today, it's my birthday. The only "happy birthday"s I got were from my mom, her Facebook account, and the Facebook account she made for her cat. FML

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Close to me

Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

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willieboom - 30/05/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

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Life is a roller coaster

Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

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Micawber - 31/01/2011 13:55 - Denmark

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

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abhi95 31

Saturday 12 April 2014 12:08

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP.. WE AT FML LOVE YOU.. MAY YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR AHEAD! There you go.. I bet you're blushing now

thxnder 14

Saturday 12 April 2014 12:08

It's something

jaylacheatham 7

Saturday 12 April 2014 17:56

happy birthday! I hope your day was/is swell! may you have a wonderful year ahead of you!

aalliee 4

Saturday 12 April 2014 17:59

Happy birthday! :))

brandoneyez1 25

Saturday 12 April 2014 18:20

Happy Birthday and gross.

flashback_fml 14

Saturday 12 April 2014 19:07

Nah that was meant for you as a birthday present

martin8337 35

Saturday 12 April 2014 19:22

Sounds like some sort of Deliverance/Wrong Turn thing going on here.

martin8337 35

Saturday 12 April 2014 19:27

Hopefully you still had good birthday despite the text.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 12 April 2014 19:39

I think your dad may need to check who he is sending things to more than once... Happy birthday!

pookiebear1001 13

Saturday 12 April 2014 19:58

Ouch & happy birthday

mavrik4 5

Saturday 12 April 2014 19:59

happy birthday i hope you have a wonderful day

mchmelev1993 10

Saturday 12 April 2014 19:59

Ohhhhhhh . Myyy. God.. Run away and start a new life and pretend this never happened ok its never too late D:

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up at three in the morning when two cops busted in the door to my apartment and a frantic voice on my cellphone saying "Sir? Sir? Are you all right? Sir?" Turns out I had been having a nightmare and dreamed I called 911. I actually did. FML

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Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

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Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

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Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

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Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

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Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

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