Life is a roller coaster

Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

1 904

179

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 17/08/2009 08:21 - United States

Today, I went into my Moms room to look for a t-shirt. I went into her drawer and behind all of her clothes was a cell phone. Not only did I not find the t-shirt, I also found out my Mom is cheating on my Dad with someone from work and now I have to pretend like I don't know. I work there too. FML

54 974

5 581

chaos2007 - 13/05/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

91 314

5 126

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

elmoisdead2131 - 09/02/2021 14:01

Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML

1 339

104

Anonymous - 21/07/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

36 719

2 783

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

Anonymous - - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

36 218

4 089

And I Oop

Anonymous - 15/01/2021 23:01

Today, my mom was screaming and throwing things at me and I didn’t know why. Then I checked the date. Her birthday was yesterday. FML

404

1 315

thissucks - 21/02/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

41 604

3 424

Brown and sticky

Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

88 183

6 350

poisongrl - 06/09/2011 22:53 - Macedonia

Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML

28 974

2 444

moviewalker - 26/11/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML

32 915

3 187

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 2 October 2019 16:56

My birthday wish for you is that you have as much fun on your rides as your mom does on hers.

bullsonyourface 20

Wednesday 2 October 2019 16:15

maybe she's just a drug dealer

ojosRojos 28

Wednesday 2 October 2019 14:36

How did you come to that conclusion? If it’s true, I’m really sorry.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 2 October 2019 18:06

She apparently asked her mom why she has a spare phone and the truth came out.

silvermoon5033 26

Wednesday 2 October 2019 23:09

or she opened it and saw texts/pictures from another person that were of an intimate nature.

bullsonyourface 20

Wednesday 2 October 2019 16:15

maybe she's just a drug dealer

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 2 October 2019 16:56

My birthday wish for you is that you have as much fun on your rides as your mom does on hers.

Matt Richard Conklin 6

Thursday 3 October 2019 2:14

Just because you found a phone u dont recognize dosnt mean shes cheating. Im 99.9% she is but be safe be 100%..

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to slowly explain to my son that an "analogy" is a literary device, not a genre of porn. FML

31 923

3 497

Today, my wife and I went to our friend's house to play some pool. While playing, a Cicada started to fly towards my face, so I flipped my pool stick over and swatted at it with the fat end of the stick. I hit the bug. However, with the skinny side I hit myself in the snow-globes. FML

10 242

22 752

Today, it's 4 in the morning and I can't sleep because of my blocked left nostril. It's been a month now. FML

778

133

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

26 251

8 505

Today, I walked into work, only to be greeted by the office asshole saying, “Whoa! You’re still here?! I thought for sure when Trump ended that DEI crap they wouldn’t let you keep your job. Welcome back I guess.” Can we say HR MEETING?! FML

649

198

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML

853

152