Intimacy Messy

Messy

hopeless1 - 26/04/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, I met a really hot guy at a bar. We talked for a while and really seemed to hit it off. We ended up going to my apartment. He stopped and said, "Clean up this mess and maybe we could do something another time." I am a complete neat freak - my apartment had been robbed and trashed. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Attraction

Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

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ultraattitude - 22/04/2012 07:01 - United States - Union City

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

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Niles Crane wannabe

that’s crazy - 12/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML

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Melaknee - 19/03/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

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Anonymous - 30/09/2012 06:29 - Norway - Oslo

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

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Good luck

Anonymous - 08/09/2025 15:00

Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML

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Hook up

jo - 20/02/2010 10:47 - United States

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrived. As we were going at it, he shat on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

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Anonymous - 11/04/2015 22:05 - United States - Shelby

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

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Hot stuff

anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

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Bang for your buck

Anonymous - 24/08/2022 06:00

Today, feeling attractive, I got dressed up and took myself to a trendy bar to enjoy some cocktails. A muscular, handsome man approached me and we began to flirt. He recommended that we get a hotel room, which we did. After we had the most amazing sex of my life, he started to tell me his price. He was an escort. FML

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JohnFR33M4N 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 16:11

cockblocked by a robber. never heard that one before

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Sunday 26 April 2009 16:08

That really sucks, but he should have waited if you were robbed. Not a true guy imo, find someone better.

jdb2009 0

Monday 27 April 2009 2:39

It was a conspiracy see, the hot guy was in on it, he was the distraction while his lackies moved in to rob you...j/k :P Yes, FYL indeed.

drimpossible 0

Monday 27 April 2009 3:38

#24, how you figure?

Dhamy 0

Monday 27 April 2009 3:58

Well, here's another whorish FML. Seriously. what's with all the "I met this guy/girl at a bar and brought him/her back and slept with them, then something went wrong" ... -sigh-

worstlifevuh 0

Monday 27 April 2009 4:08

Yeah the guy's such a jerk right everyone? Forget that the girls trying to sleep with him moments after they met. WHOOOOOOOORE.

mac_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 5:56

thats what you get for going for the hot guy.

mac_fml 0

Monday 27 April 2009 5:59

omg i just read #8 after i already made a comment (SpliffyMcBlunt) incase the numbers change again LMFAO totally awesome.

313 0

Monday 27 April 2009 7:30

Uhhh maybe you shouldn't be taking random that you just met home to f***!

whomajigi 0

Monday 27 April 2009 16:02

I call shenanigans on this one. If your place had been robbed, you would have gone in and been shocked and freaking out. Unless he was reacting to your freaking out after being robbed, in which case he's a dick.