Intimacy Hot stuff - FML

Hot stuff

anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

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Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

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Attraction

Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

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anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

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Classic

Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

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Hook up

jo - 20/02/2010 10:47 - United States

Today, I finally got to hook up with this hot guy I'd been talking to for a few weeks. To my surprise, he was sinfully drunk when he arrived. As we were going at it, he shat on my white carpet. Now the phrase "f***ing the shit out of someone" has a brand new meaning for me. FML

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Oh, hai Mark!

Anonymous - 26/09/2021 10:59

Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML

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Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

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Awkward

Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

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Classic lineup

Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

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Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

underaegis 0

Friday 20 August 2010 8:54

ummm what!!! u had sex sooooooooo waking up to that compared to some other FMLs makes it a good thing...Right?

gntfmlingnow 12

Monday 17 October 2011 21:58

Those crazy Koreans and their air conditioning toilets.

BigCheezy73 2

Sunday 1 April 2012 6:30

sizzle...

speedydrumstix 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

hahahaha wtf!

flighted 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:57

I don't understand how people can take some random "hot guy" home and expect something like this NOT to happen. -.-

boogiefcrazy 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:43

I kinda gotta agree...xD that's f****in hilarious

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 27 September 2016 6:51

Nah, just soju.

burrito_supreme 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

LOL

Sambo110 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:17

Umm, this is strange. What would you do in that situation, and in your air conditioner unit? How the hell...

Everlost 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:17

thats normal.

Zombierella 2

Friday 10 July 2009 21:51

ROFL #5

Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

nicoleyy 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 7:37

I know wtf

q_tipperz 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

ew that's so unattractive of him .

Garanaw 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

Waaaah ...

jj732 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

hope you got his number! :D oh and i agree with #6.

testing_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:22

****! You got what you deserved! Jezebel!!!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I let my boyfriend drive my car, knowing that he doesn't have a license. While he was out, he ran a stop sign, collided with another vehicle, and then left the scene of the accident. Then he lied to me about how the accident happened so I "wouldn't be so upset." FML

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Today, my cat has a new hobby: She goes fishing. As in she catches the frogs out of the ornamental pond, then walks into my freshly mopped kitchen with dripping wet, muddy feet. FML

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Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

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Today, I went to a job interview super early and giddy with enthusiasm. While waiting in the lobby, I struck up a friendly conversation with a bloke who was also waiting around in a suit. I jokingly told him, “Good luck mate, but I’m getting this job.” Turns out he was the hiring manager. FML

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Today, my parents decided they won't pay for college because of a Fox News story that said higher education "makes you liberal." FML

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Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

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