Marriage Love Hello, goodbye

Hello, goodbye

Joey - 07/05/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Richie - 20/05/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint. She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12-inch ham sub. FML

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DMitch - 15/05/2011 19:29 - United States

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

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Premature

Anonymous - 04/09/2022 19:00 - United States - Paris

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me at dinner, which would’ve been nice if we hadn’t been dating for only two months, and dinner was at Subway. FML

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Anonymous - 01/03/2013 07:18 - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

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Drive

neverunderstood - - Italy - San Pietro In Casale

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway between our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking, eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

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Flustration

Anonymous - 19/03/2023 18:00

Today, I got flustered by the gorgeous sandwich artist at Subway and ordered a “meat-long foot-ball.” On Rye of course. FML

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Anonymous - 07/07/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

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salad - 28/04/2014 15:38 - United States - North Charleston

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

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Lower your expectations

mista_sandy - - Canada - Toronto

Today, a guy asked me out and said he was going to take me to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you. I love Japanese food, so I was really excited. We went to Subway. FML

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Get back here!

matte - - Australia

Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML

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theluckygirl28 8

Friday 8 May 2009 2:02

OUCHH!!! But hey, at least you got a footlong.... or maybe you don't and that's why she's leaving you? Think about it... All kidding set aside, FYL

AngelRaven89 0

Friday 8 May 2009 2:05

Could have been worse. She could have ended things without giving you a turkey sandwich. And then where would you be!

LilRed 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 3:28

Do you tell her to get you a sandwich often?

lolbitch 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:06

lol at #3 and #115 and #128 and #139 and #149 haha!!!

DeadMansCrack 4

Saturday 9 May 2009 5:16

THAT is definitely the way I would want to end a marriage.

missbon 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 10:10

does that mean if it was chicken it would be ok?

xo3velyn 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 15:13

i deff think that theres more to this story than what the OP is telling us...

ptsofathrity 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 19:46

Sorry to hear that dude, if she's that much of a loser for leaving you, she's not worth it. But hey at least you got Subway!

19sage87 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 22:21

Eat it quick! She's going to want half of that in the divorce!

caretoshare 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 0:15

Gah. That sucks. Sorrrry. Hope you like the sandwich at least :D

BluEG0pher 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 5:27

sorry man, that sucks. you'll be okay

CurdledMilk 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 6:44

At least she still had the decency to care about your appetite.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML

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Today, my wife told me how she really felt about me, and said she didn't love me anymore. We got married last month. FML

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Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

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Today, my mother is such a helicopter parent, she wouldn’t let me go to my first appointment with my new gynaecologist without being in the room, to “keep an eye on him”. When I told her to stay out, she started screaming in the waiting room that I was going to be raped without her there. FML

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Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend with breakfast in bed. Instead, I spilled hot coffee all over her and the bed. We ended up spending the morning doing laundry instead of cuddling. FML

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Today, I finally gave my mum an expensive designer dress I spent months saving to buy for her as she had been very depressed. However she has gained so much weight from stress eating she ripped it when trying to put it on, and now won't talk to me because, "I wanted to make her feel fat". FML

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