Books, Gross Education Hand me downs

Hand me downs

Marcipaud - - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Creeped out

emoney - - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

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Say it, don't spray it

... - - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

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Busted

blububble412 - - United States - Sierra Vista

Today, we had a drug search at school. After the search, we went back inside. My bag was open, and my lunch was gone. FML

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Broke boy

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

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Just browsing

OneGirlsLife -

Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML

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Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

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I hate myself

trixanne - - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

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Creeped out

NotASpiderMan - - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

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Guilty

jamienicole1993 - - United States - Savannah

Today, I woke up to a broken car window and a text from my ex that read, "Before you ask me, the answer is yes." FML

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Caught off guard

dooommage - - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

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may14th 26

Friday 6 May 2016 10:09

I'm hoping it's just clippings and not their entire finger nails. Because that would be a whole other issue.

CogadhTallon 16

Friday 6 May 2016 10:17

Sounds like a nail-biting book.

may14th 26

Friday 6 May 2016 10:09

I'm hoping it's just clippings and not their entire finger nails. Because that would be a whole other issue.

AlwaysWatching 27

Friday 6 May 2016 22:55

I only clicked on the comments to see how long it took for someone to say that

Earths_Venus 25

Friday 6 May 2016 10:14

Comment #1 nailed it.

CogadhTallon 16

Friday 6 May 2016 10:17

Sounds like a nail-biting book.

chitochito 17

Friday 6 May 2016 12:48

Well, that's Michigan for ya.

Benmantha 31

Friday 6 May 2016 13:55

I guess the previous owner nailed it.

False_Stupidity 41

Friday 6 May 2016 14:14

Call it clip art... Or not.

Saikon1357 25

Friday 6 May 2016 18:20

Ah yes, public education

anyagrande 31

Friday 6 May 2016 23:14

I always pray that things like this don't happen to me at school

vandj8 9

Saturday 7 May 2016 6:41

be happy it wasn't a dried up booger - I've found my share in library books.

GreyGirl 15

Saturday 7 May 2016 18:29

Someone drew a giant penis on m geometry book

RichardPencil 30

Monday 25 September 2023 3:25

You mean a cylinder with a hemisphere at the end and two ellipsoids of revolution at the bottom. It's all geometry!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

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Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

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Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

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Today, it was supposed to be my birthday dinner with two of my friends. They're both now bringing their boyfriends, so I get to be the fifth wheel to my own birthday dinner. FML

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Today, I accidentally Googled "best types of incest" instead of "best types of incense" on the family computer. The parental controls went nuts. I'm now grounded, and my parents are convinced I need psychiatric help. FML

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Today, I’ve been suffering with a fever of 104° as well as an ear and sinus infection. I asked my mom and sister if they could get me meds and fluids from the store. I sent them money through my bank app for the supplies. They took my money and went to lunch instead. I’m still sick as a dog. FML

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