Gross Transportation Say it, don't spray it

Say it, don't spray it

... - - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Right back!

Anonymous -

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

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There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

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ihatelongflights - 21/08/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

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Who are you?

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

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Rewind time

supersmashpika - - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

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On the run

Airplane crap - - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

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Anonymous - 24/11/2013 23:19 - Canada - Surrey

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

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GrossAir

Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

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Good samaritan

happyshit - - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

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AngelBubblesRose 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:19

gross

penguinking12345_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:24

Lol how would u deserve it??????

revieced 13

Wednesday 11 March 2009 16:06

oh my.... LOL

Melaniee_fml 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 15:21

so.. why was reading the newspaper signifacant?

AngelBubblesRose 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:19

gross

Shallow_Padentic 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 21:12

Hahaha thats nasty

nafiul93 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 23:17

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww slap that hoe

Exhumed91 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:43

Lame. Dane cook joke.

black_cherry_pie 0

Friday 7 August 2009 9:27

thats happened to more than just dane cook, and besides dane cook is awesome.

MissMae93 23

Wednesday 5 October 2011 14:36

Oh, that's right, if it's happened to someone famous it couldn't possibly happen to any other person in the world. Clearly OP didn't get the memo.

that_guy_you_are 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:18

YDI.

penguinking12345_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:24

Lol how would u deserve it??????

Cr1spyBacon8r 7

Monday 27 June 2016 16:46

Quite a few people will just press you deserved it because they're assholes.

Boomi 38

Wednesday 14 September 2016 18:03

Possibly by riding the train to begin with? I don't know, I'm one of those people that use public transportation as well.

penguinking12345_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:25

Ewwwww

im_a_nerd 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 19:40

hilarioussss

Michbella1 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 5:09

don't you love my Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt and bullet necklace in this pic!!! 'cause i do!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML

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Today, I got back home and my hamster was dead. I left notes two weeks ago everywhere to remind my parents to feed it while I was overseas. Apparently, my parents even didn't realize I was gone. FML

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Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML

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Today, I was mugged by three guys. I fought back, and knocked one down. This made them angry, so they stole my clothes as well. FML

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Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML

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Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me, "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?" I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, to which he responded, "No, probably not." FML

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