Gross Transportation Say it, don't spray it

Say it, don't spray it

... - - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Right back!

Anonymous -

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

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There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

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ihatelongflights - 21/08/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

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Who are you?

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

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Rewind time

supersmashpika - - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

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On the run

Airplane crap - - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

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Anonymous - 24/11/2013 23:19 - Canada - Surrey

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

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GrossAir

Nolongeracriminal - 05/11/2023 06:11

Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML

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Good samaritan

happyshit - - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

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AngelBubblesRose 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:19

gross

penguinking12345_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:24

Lol how would u deserve it??????

revieced 13

Wednesday 11 March 2009 16:06

oh my.... LOL

Melaniee_fml 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 15:21

so.. why was reading the newspaper signifacant?

AngelBubblesRose 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 5:19

gross

Shallow_Padentic 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 21:12

Hahaha thats nasty

nafiul93 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 23:17

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww slap that hoe

Exhumed91 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:43

Lame. Dane cook joke.

black_cherry_pie 0

Friday 7 August 2009 9:27

thats happened to more than just dane cook, and besides dane cook is awesome.

MissMae93 23

Wednesday 5 October 2011 14:36

Oh, that's right, if it's happened to someone famous it couldn't possibly happen to any other person in the world. Clearly OP didn't get the memo.

that_guy_you_are 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 12:18

YDI.

penguinking12345_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:24

Lol how would u deserve it??????

Cr1spyBacon8r 7

Monday 27 June 2016 16:46

Quite a few people will just press you deserved it because they're assholes.

Boomi 38

Wednesday 14 September 2016 18:03

Possibly by riding the train to begin with? I don't know, I'm one of those people that use public transportation as well.

penguinking12345_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 9:25

Ewwwww

im_a_nerd 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 19:40

hilarioussss

Michbella1 0

Thursday 25 June 2009 5:09

don't you love my Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt and bullet necklace in this pic!!! 'cause i do!

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

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Today, the cops pulled over and tried to arrest my friends for transportation of a corpse and murder. Just because you find a body in the back of a truck bed, wrapped in a blanket cocoon and apparently unresponsive, does not mean they are dead. I was very much alive, thank you very much. FML

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Today, a co-worker passed me a note with information about one of our cute, new co-workers I was interested in. Her report? Simple: "Lesbian. Try again. They're EVERYWHERE!" FML

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Today, my husband rushed me to the hospital, and we were told that I'd had a miscarriage. Neither of us knew I was pregnant. FML

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Today, I found out the can of spray paint I got at Walmart yesterday has no spray nozzle, rendering it useless. I'm working on a project that needs to be done by the weekend, so I get to go wait in a huge line and risk being trampled to death tonight just to exchange one damn spray paint can. FML

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Today, while at a party playing Truth or Dare, I found out my best friend fantasizes about having sex with my 51 year old mother. The rest of the guys at the party then nodded in agreement and thus spawned a group conversation about how "screwable" my mom is. FML

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