First Dates, Allergies Love First date going well - FML

First date going well

johnfrank - - United States

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

amilia - 07/11/2018 12:00

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy at a seafood restaurant. I explained to him that I am deathly allergic to shrimp. When the waiter took my order, he interrupted me and said, “She’ll have the shrimp," while looking me dead in the eye. FML

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Sounds like a win, somehow

George - 17/09/2023 14:00

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to shrimp, when I went out for a lunch with my long-term crush after I finally got the courage to ask her out. She's really into seafood. A little while into the afternoon I started to feel itchy. She ended up scratching my back all night. FML

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Anonymous - 05/11/2012 19:21 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML

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well okay then - 20/05/2013 16:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

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Nope, just nope

Anonycunt - 27/07/2013 16:30 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

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Bland date

tomtomcutiepoof - 13/03/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

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sarahh38 - 16/09/2009 18:23 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML

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Biohazard

Diane - 19/01/2025 12:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML

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not even getting any of her shrimp - 11/02/2014 21:50 - United States - Draper

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

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Anonymous - 06/01/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML

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platypusrex256 2

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

thats a bit forward for a first date, don't you think?

puffingdragons 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:00

It's the guys fault. "In case I want to kiss you later." Way to come off as a Jerk.

dcapp 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:07

i agree with #3 that was a pretty forward thing to say

filthyfrith 0

Monday 3 October 2011 16:22

You really should have played it cool till you knew the situation :)

crazy_cat_lady 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:09

Haha! You tried to tell her what to do and she basically told you to screw off! That'll teach you to think you're King Shit!

ellis_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:10

judging by what you said and her reaction I'd say you're a skeeve you set yourself up for that

npk1112 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:14

Jbomb01 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:14

should have just said im allergic and the smell might trigger me off, would have worked wonders and you still might have that kiss.

JuJuBeeSunshine 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:15

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:15

I would have ordered the shrimp too, just to be a dick, and because you said "you shouldn't." I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT BUD

lolololcheese 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:17

you should have told her not to order it without mentioning kissing.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Monday 20 January 2014 1:31

Except it's not his business what she orders...

JCM_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:17

even though what she did was kinda rude, i say you deserved it. pretty dumb to say on a 1st date

_Chocoholic_ 0

Friday 27 March 2009 0:20

Ouch :S

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

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Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

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Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML

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Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

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Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

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Today, at work, we were told by Wells Fargo that we'll be training our foreign replacements from India. After we train them, we're gone. FML

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