Family, Poopoo peepee Health Fart wars

Fart wars

district12 - 18/02/2012 22:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family started their own version of the Hunger Games. With farts as their ammo, they've been tackling and gassing everyone until their victim "dies" by surrendering. My house is a flatulent war zone, and I fear waking up blind. FML

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Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

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Susan - 28/02/2012 11:55 - Canada

Today, I farted in front of my husband. It somehow turned into a farting war. Then I realized this is the closest we've come to intimacy in a week. FML

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beautifulme - 31/01/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

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It's a gas gas gas

Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

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Single shot

irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

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Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to re-enact a scene from Family Guy. He locked me in the car with him and farted deadly ones repeatedly. He wouldn't let me out until I learned to "love the gas." FML

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Skidmarks

smelly asses - 17/09/2020 07:50

Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML

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Mj - 20/07/2016 00:28 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML

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Gassy

Anonymous - 10/07/2022 06:00

Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML

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Anonymous - 26/01/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

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kmccain 27

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:35

May the odds be ever in your favor

paulkeppel 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

gas them out until they surrender. show no mercy!

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:35

At least if you win you never have to play I'n the games again.... Haha but sorry OP

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:37

In- stupid word correct!

dessaye 19

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:00

There's always next year! Don't forget the Quarter Quell :P

Shelta957 13

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:13

That's only of she survives this round!! :P

jem137451 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:41

Ah, yes, hopefully they don't have katniss's bad luck by having to play again

Petey_Piie 1

Sunday 19 February 2012 3:39

I love OP's name. Be strong! District 12 victors have can-do attitudes! Fight back and you will win.

PurpleAddict 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:10

YOUR FAMILY IS AMAZING

guitarsonist666 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:14

What's the problem?? That's my house everyday!!

nabila21 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:15

I need to read that book .

ftw487 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:49

U should read them. theyre really goof

ftw487 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 6:50

Oops i ment good

soupisyummy 13

Sunday 19 February 2012 7:32

Reeeeeeaaaaadddd itttttttt!!!!! The whole series is.....jmdjcskxmsuxbskxidbchxjzk SEX!!

Melania890 9

Sunday 19 February 2012 21:32

Oh my god, please please please read them. It's got to be the best trilogy ever. :)

mynameispickle 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:37

Umm...what? At least your family is comfortable around eachother!

MickGold 8

Sunday 19 February 2012 4:47

BOMBS AWAY!!!

bananabuttercup 8

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:00

Sounds like you don't really know what the Hunger Games are.

mattisons19 7

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:16

Sounds a lot like my family xD

simplyunique907 4

Sunday 19 February 2012 5:23

wow

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Today, my boss - whose intelligence level hovers a hair above "Herpity derpity derp" - got up my ass and accused me of lying to him. All because I said that just because I'm a network admin, I can't make his 7 year old piece of crap Blackberry magically be able to use 4G networks. FML

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Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

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Today, I discovered my boyfriend has a thing for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant though, my roommate is. FML

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Today, I was at assembly in school. My friend had a water bottle. It was a squirt bottle, and he squirted me, over and over. I got ticked off, so I took it away from him, but when I took the bottle I squeezed it and it squirted all over the people in front of me. The principal saw, and I got in trouble. FML

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