Embarrassing, Awkward Miscellaneous Dick joke

Dick joke

awilson - - United States

Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see me with my hand on my crotch while angrily muttering, "Where's that little bastard gone?" FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

MyLifeIsFucked56 1

Friday 11 September 2009 23:13

LMFAO! That happened to me before

Rixxieee 0

Friday 11 September 2009 23:17

wheres the 'like' button when you need it? =P

MOSESRAISIN 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 23:31

well looks like weve learned our lesson here

ryanbeast 7

Monday 8 August 2011 6:26

i almost pissed myself laughing

briissocoollike 8

Wednesday 14 September 2011 1:19

AWKWARD.

max13_fml 8

Saturday 17 September 2011 20:39

hahahahaha!

chels1994 11

Monday 3 October 2011 21:30

i love this.

Impulseforyou 6

Tuesday 25 October 2011 5:26

This is soooooooo ******* funnny!!! LMFAO! :D

GameOver008 1

Tuesday 25 October 2011 22:36

I don't want that to happen to me....

ThatOneGirlStar 2

Thursday 12 January 2012 20:00

omfg lolz I just tinkled myself I laughed so hard!!!

paintmysky 0

Monday 12 March 2012 7:35

Story of my life. XD

djicog 0

Friday 25 May 2012 17:24

Funny shit

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got a letter from the Navy saying that they accepted my application to join the Navy. I never applied. FML

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Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

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Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML

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Today, my boxing trainer texted me, "You don't know shit about boxing" then blocked me on Instagram, all because I said Tyson Fury vs. Dillian Whyte was a trash, lackluster fight on my story. This is the same trainer who said I have good boxing skills and show potential. Sorry for my opinion I guess? FML

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Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

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Today, I had a mental breakdown. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was, "I think we were better off as friends." FML

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