Kids Fight Dat ass - FML

Dat ass

Anonymous - 15/09/2021 11:01

Today, I got a slap because my 8 year-old stepson has such a big mouth, he couldn’t resist pointing out a nearby white woman had a "phat butt" and should "give it back to the black lady she stole it from." I blame his racist old grandad for this. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

mandm - 24/09/2013 21:01 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

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Overcompensating

daddy's girl - 22/01/2013 04:08 - United States - Springfield

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

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The genetics expert has logged on

Fucking moron - 27/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML

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Anonymous - 04/10/2012 00:45 - United States - Eugene

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

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Short fuse

Anonymous - 03/01/2026 00:00

Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML

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Family tree

Anonyme - 21/11/2024 11:00 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

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DatAss - 15/01/2016 10:56

Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML

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jessinono - 17/05/2013 16:16 - United States

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

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NO DANG CRT IN MY ZONE, BOY

Anonymous - 20/06/2022 06:00

Today, I had to explain racism to my son after some of his school friends were talking about it. Another parent then stormed up to us, pissed off because even though I was explaining how bad racism is, just talking about it is itself racist, and he was offended by me. He made my son cry. FML

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Helpful

Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

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cacheson 41

Wednesday 15 September 2021 14:39

I’m assuming the woman was the slapper…

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 15 September 2021 14:30

Who slapped you?

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 15 September 2021 14:30

Who slapped you?

cacheson 41

Wednesday 15 September 2021 14:39

I’m assuming the woman was the slapper…

Brightside86 30

Friday 17 September 2021 1:12

Your kid sounds hilarious.

OnReceivingEnd 17

Sunday 19 September 2021 13:33

And the reason you didn't pass that slap on to your stepson WAS....?!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after I used to look down on my brother for being a nerd, he now creates computer software for a living making megabucks. Meanwhile, I deliver lorry loads of gravel and cement to building sites for minimum wage, one step above breaking rocks for a living. FML

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Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML

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Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML

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Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

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Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

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Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

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