Health Dad joke

Dad joke

GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Bathroom break

Anonymous - 21/12/2010 02:31 - United States

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

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lk07 - 03/11/2018 05:00

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

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Anonymous - 20/05/2016 16:05 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML

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Trumpet solo

Churizmo - - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone fell silent as my dad began to pray for our meal. FML

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poopEVERYWHERE - 18/09/2009 14:27 - United States

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

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poop - 21/03/2015 16:47 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

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Anonymous - 03/01/2011 17:36 - United States

Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML

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Leaked

Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

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EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

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Relaxed

Craptastic -

Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML

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Susaluda 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 23:24

That sucks! Dads...

dreamer13 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 23:25

what a big dick!

Physcomerk 0

Friday 5 March 2010 0:39

actually it's spelt discreet, moron!

Imnewhere 21

Friday 5 March 2010 0:41

it's what I get for studying with an actual thai instructor. he knows everything I'm mumbling under my breathe since our languages are similar

wowurgay1994 0

Friday 5 March 2010 0:44

dammm fyl lol maybe u shouldn't go back there nomore lol

Imnewhere 21

Friday 5 March 2010 0:47

I like the pain, it's a good type

TrollHunter 0

Friday 5 March 2010 1:00

 SHIT

KurouTenshi 0

Friday 5 March 2010 1:03

You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it~

ramboman19 8

Friday 5 March 2010 1:12

(breaths in sharply through teeth) ouucchh...that's a tough one. sorry that happened. I know how it is! I have irritable bowel syndrome, and I have the good ol' ***** almost every other day. It also happens at the worst times too, like in class during a timed test. I feel your pain!