Sex, Boredom Love Boredom - FML

Boredom

alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

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ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

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hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

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thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

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Nice try

Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

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Subway creeper

Anonymous - 07/07/2025 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

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Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

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wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

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SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

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UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

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csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

CaliforniaGirl_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 6:39

Dang dude, FYL dang

farock 0

Saturday 14 February 2009 22:25

do the same thing she did, while she's sucking you off

jussjess 0

Thursday 22 July 2010 17:54

If she's texting while he's going down on her, I doubt she'll be "sucking him off" anytime soon.

bubbles944770 0

Friday 29 April 2011 16:43

lol

Idyedmyhairblack 0

Sunday 15 February 2009 19:19

aw,sorry man!

jmorgz18 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 22:16

yeaaa i sent this1 to my gf because she is constantly on her phone and she replied....fuckk youuu

Goat_Miner 7

Monday 16 May 2016 19:00

Autism speaks

Ktea 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 9:57

I'm doing that next time.

d_dh2310 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 10:07

listen, as a girl, sometimes i don't like getting head.. actually, i've only enjoyed it once.. when it was done "well", but i'm not so sure what well was :-P you'll figure it out, or ask her (cause if she was texting it was not good for her). either way, she shouldn't have been texting, such a lack of respect, i would have rather told you to stop than have picked up my phone and let you keep going!!

supwithitk 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 6:49

That's horrible.

alwaysme_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 22:05

omg

CanadAssassiN 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 0:17

Hey, you never know, she might have been bragging to someone about how good you were in bed or something...lol

ilawlzatyou 0

Monday 23 February 2009 2:17

Lmfaoooooo, wow. I wouldn't even have finished her.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

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Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

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Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

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Today, I got stoned with the clowns at the birthday party I took my niece to. This is a new low point. FML

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Today, after spending 20 minutes every day working on my abs for the last month and feeling pretty good about how they were looking, I received the first comment about them. A girl poked them and said 'squish'. FML

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Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

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