Sex, Boredom Love Boredom - FML

Boredom

alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

181 865

52 083

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

46 998

4 245

ozzy - 06/11/2016 09:18 - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

9 915

1 167

hopeless - 14/02/2015 20:04 - Canada - Halifax

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

30 787

2 897

thedudeman14 - 05/11/2014 22:21 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

35 494

3 201

Nice try

Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

20 428

32 011

Subway creeper

Anonymous - 07/07/2025 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

68

941

Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

58 804

3 632

wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

66 903

13 065

SeeBrendenBurn - 21/11/2009 08:28 - United States

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

35 806

5 685

UnfortunatelySingle - 21/07/2015 06:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

28 461

3 395

csigabajnok 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 14:24

Why didn't you start texting too? Maybe you should have sent her a message to pay damn attention or something.

ohgeez 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 17:31

Hrmm....I'm not saying I'm amazing at it, but from what I can tell, texting is the last thing on the girls mind.... I'd actually be impressed if she could type complete sentences.

coolqwerty73 1

Thursday 1 August 2013 4:08

Unfortunately, she was taking a picture...

CeltHound 14

Sunday 16 March 2014 20:34

That means she's a ****.

arfarfitar 2

Tuesday 8 April 2014 6:30

We'll then

Eltobak 13

Tuesday 13 May 2014 13:59

Well now u know shes able to multitasking

deedeedeniel 17

Thursday 22 May 2014 21:47

But first, let me take a selfie! ;)

brony4life_twi 7

Thursday 24 July 2014 5:11

There are some instructional information you can look up to help you get better.

Derperder 9

Sunday 15 February 2015 20:37

if you were going down on her then how was she up

taker73 9

Tuesday 14 July 2015 14:14

FMLing !?

BenAflac 14

Monday 14 December 2015 5:30

Same

tin_cup 27

Wednesday 3 February 2016 2:26

That's harsh bro! Ask her what makes her feel good

12
13
14
15
16

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I tried to get ready for a final. I had about six hours to study. My girlfriend decided to help by jabbering loudly in my ear about celebrity gossip, noisily cleaning the office and losing my notes, and getting in a screaming argument with her mom over the phone. FML

577

177

Today, my roommate reached a whole new level of laziness: I caught him casually peeing into an empty beer bottle while laying in bed. FML

18 561

1 375

Today, I waited in line to get into a club with my girlfriend, the bouncer only let her in, she told me to call her if I needed anything and left me. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday. FML

117 976

9 701

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

46 328

29 276

Today, I got lectured by my father for cussing out one of his old friends, after the man insulted me at a formal gathering. This man had called my race into question with a slur. Dad swore up and down how respectable the man is and that I lacked "civility." This old fart of a racist happens to be a council bigwig. FML

550

128

Today, while I was at the doctor's looking nasty and sick, I ran into my ex. He was my first boyfriend and he cheated on me the whole time, and then left me. I went into a room with my friend while we were waiting and told her EVERYTHING about him. Turns out everyone heard me, INCLUDING HIM. Now I have to see him tomorrow. FML

325

937