Work Bad idea - FML

Bad idea

Stacy - 05/07/2011 04:04 - United States

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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sucksssssss - 28/01/2010 20:12 - France

Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone had pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor, and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML

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ShittyKeys - 06/11/2009 08:57 - United States

Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML

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Sneaky

Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

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Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

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Double trouble

Trinity - 03/05/2022 00:01

Today, not only did I shit myself on my way to work, I left my house keys in the bathroom after I cleaned up. It's $90 to replace them. FML

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DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

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Bustin' my ass

Anonymous - 07/10/2020 20:01

Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML

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vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

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Alisterine - 24/08/2014 17:31 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

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i'm not paid enough for this shit (and piss)

Anonymous - 29/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, at work, an old lady dropped her lipstick into the ladies' room toilet, which is out of order and won't flush. I had to reach in and pull it out amid human waste. She thanked me, then uncapped it, and put some on her lips. FML

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LadyClarik 8

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:12

At least it wasn't written in shit....

robc32ca 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:17

reach in and grab you can always wash your hands

hottie12367 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:07

haha that sucks!!! but what kind of person ***** in a toilet with keys in it? lol

Junkie_Razor 20

Friday 18 November 2011 6:01

Me.

SirObvious 1

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:17

weird that a guy had lipstick (blank smile)

Bobissmall 13

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:25

I don't... what? It's a girl?

master_blaster 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 21:55

OP is a girl and the person wrote in lipstick so obviously she was a girl I don't know many guys that carry around lipstick

alex6946 10

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:48

:( that was mean of her

ohlalala_fml 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:18

did she flush it lol

mrtoby 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:02

haha! what if op caught her and shes just like "what the hell are you doing" and shes just like "occupado":D

emosk8er4life 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:02

wow read it again

mrwiggles5422 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:43

Lmao! you made my Pepsi come out of my nose.

BabeGirl978 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:49

Wow dat suks

Jake0928 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 22:34

Haha WIN

AlexRen 21

Tuesday 5 July 2011 23:36

The first time I'd dropped them I would've grabbed the keys, then washed my hands vigorously.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my body has decided that sleeping past 4 a.m. is strange idea and should be resisted. It is also of the opinion that any duration of sleep less than 10 hours per night constitutes a lack thereof, which deserves physical signs of tiredness, like looking several years older. FML

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Today, while on a beach with my boyfriend, with whom I've been with for three years, I went on his phone to find a restaurant I'd sent him on Instagram. Instead, I found countless messages to other women, trying to slide into their DMs. Needless to say, everyone on that beach got a free show. FML

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Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

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Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

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Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

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Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML

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