Sounds promising

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my girlfriend of two years expressing my feelings for her. She responded with, "I'm going to bed." FML

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You've got mail

guest - - Argentina - Buenos Aires

Today, I got a text from my ex-boyfriend that said, "I love you." Thinking this meant he'd changed his mind about breaking up with me less than 24 hours before, I replied back excitedly. Turns out that was a text sent last weekend that didn't go through until now. What great timing. FML

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Creepy

Fail - - United States

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

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There was an attempt…

JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

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Nice neighborhood

Mrs. W. - - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

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Method acting

hannahk267 - - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

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Crossed wires

hudd357mag - - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on texted me to go out tonight. When I got to her house, she peered at me quizzically and asked, "What do you want? Did I text you?" FML

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Treat yourself

birthday bash - - France

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML

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Sketchy

Wolf - - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, while sitting next to me, my boyfriend sent a text to one of his "friends" saying, "I'm thinking of you." FML

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2 474

  

Pleased to meet you

Mr_Yato - - United States

Today, a girl in my class introduced herself to me for the fourth time this semester. Am I really that invisible? FML

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