Cars Health Amazing timing - FML

Amazing timing

Anonymous - - United States - Antelope

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

onemoredonut - 03/05/2016 01:39 - United States - Herndon

Today, while directing traffic in uniform, I tripped over a traffic cone and fell straight on my butt in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

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munchkin - 26/10/2009 06:35 - France

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

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MasterMcrib - 17/04/2016 20:33 - United States - Highland Park

Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML

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Anonymous - 18/06/2012 14:39 - Canada - Markham

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

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Fiat 500 woes

Too tall for this shit - 30/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML

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Imwalkinghere - 04/11/2016 01:26 - United States

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

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Bystander

Chops - - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

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Funny how?

funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

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Bashed

Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

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ttsutaoka - 11/07/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

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Jak_Griffin 5

Sunday 23 February 2014 1:02

Hopefully you didn't get a conecussion

star14394 20

Sunday 23 February 2014 1:01

People like the bystanders are idiots....sorry about your head

ExiledRemixx 13

Sunday 23 February 2014 17:36

Reminds me of halo 3. Just saying.

shadypalmtree 20

Sunday 23 February 2014 18:28

it wasnt you it was your grandfather... karma skipped a generation

Omniprism 14

Sunday 23 February 2014 20:50

They didn't ask you if you were alright? Those cones have a hard base to stand on...I hope your ok. It probably looked funny but still.

Xilliva 6

Monday 24 February 2014 6:48

Your past life deserves it. But seriously, that sucks.

LocsOn 13

Monday 24 February 2014 21:07

who remebers this happening in Halo!?! xbox ftw

ragini95 16

Saturday 1 March 2014 23:16

Hope your head is fine! :)

cwl727 32

Thursday 13 March 2014 19:21

Did anybody come help you?

1DisGR8 32

Thursday 15 May 2014 5:45

The way you worded this made it a lot funnier

bassfisher100 23

Monday 28 September 2015 23:32

im leaving the cone puns to everyone else i dont have any good ones

CryoticShell 14

Thursday 18 February 2016 17:09

Straight outta Halo 3, am I right?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

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Today, I found out that after interviewing for two jobs at great companies, I was neck and neck with one other person for each position. They both offered the job to the other person. FML

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Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

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Today, It took me over 3 hours to cut out little letters for an event I'm putting on. It took the wind less than a second to blow them all over campus. FML

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Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML

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Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

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