Your everyday life stories

mamadrama - 04/04/2016 02:05 - United States - Okemos

Today, my 3 year old burst into hysterics in a crowded public restroom, begging me "don't die mommy.!" Trying to explain why she was so upset, she pointed at the toilet "look mommy, you're bleeding." It was fun explaining to several concerned stall neighbors, that I had just started my period. FML

great - 04/04/2016 02:04 - United States - Westlake

Today, I finally came to conclusion that I have feelings for a very cute, funny guy. This wouldn't be such a bad thing if I wasn't married or the fact that this guy is my husband's brother. FML

tyson24769 - 04/04/2016 01:55 - United States - Blue Springs

Today, I finally told my parents I'm gay. They told me they figured it out when I was 12 yrs old (I'm 25 now). Wait that means for 13 years since then (over half my life) I've been working hard to lie and to hide what they already figured out and apparently have accepted and are fine with. FML

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 01:54 - United States - Toms River

Today, my mom "forgot" to put her SUV in park before she ran inside our house and it drove itself inside our garage, over my tool bench, and into a wall, all while side swiping the other wall. All because she had to "pee really bad". FML

MadeUpUsername - 04/04/2016 01:42 - Canada - Sudbury

Today was my great grandmother's funeral. It would have been a sweet funeral too if my aunt hadn't strapped a GoPro to the casket. Yes, I'm serious. FML

bookworm01032015 - 04/04/2016 01:34 - United States - Westfield

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to carry me on his back. As I jumped on to his back, he screamed out in pain saying "TOO HEAVY. OWWW MY BACK!" He then proceeded to break up with me. FML.

reluctantAtlas - 04/04/2016 01:30 - United States

Today, work was going really well when a customer mentioned that there was a small leak in the men's bathroom. Not being too worried about it, I said I'd let the manager know. I walked into ankle-deep water when I went to clean the bathroom. It's been 3 hours and I'm still bailing water. FML

supernovaa64 - 04/04/2016 01:26 - United States - Orlando

Today, as me and my boyfriend were getting intimate, he suddenly stops. Was it something wrong with me? No. Our cat peed on the bed and he put his knee in it. FML

IrisNoel98 - 04/04/2016 01:05 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I cleaned out my blender. Like you should clean anything, I put hot water and soap in it. When I turned it on to clean it, the top flew off and blew scalding hot water all over me. My entire upper body including my face is now covered in first and second degree burns.

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 00:58 - United States - Meriden

Today, Is my birthday and I was in my room jacking off while my family was gone. They thought it would be fun to surprise me. My whole family walked in on my jacking off on the floor. FML

FML - 04/04/2016 00:29 - United States - Gales Ferry

Today, is my birthday. It is also the day that I found out that my best friend just died from lung cancer and my girlfriend just broke up with me... Happy birthday to me. FML

KendraLaine - 04/04/2016 00:14 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I had to pay $50 for the morning after pill because my boyfriend of 2 years informed me that apparently drunk him listened to black out me and blacked out me wanted a baby...FML

ScratchLens - 03/04/2016 23:42 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, I had to drive all the way into town to get a new pair of lenses for my son, who thought it would be a good idea to clean his glasses with steel wool. FML.

Stonersteve - 03/04/2016 23:41 - United States - Selinsgrove

Today, I gave my wife $20 for gas money for a guy that gave her a ride home from work... she proceeds to tell me they slept together today too so I gave this dude $20 bucks to have sex with my wife FML...

Anonymous - 03/04/2016 23:26 - United States - Tucson

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend I felt like I was going to fart, I decided to moan louder so he couldn't hear anything, when I let it rip it was more then a fart. FML

loopisnoopi - 03/04/2016 23:20 - United States - Tucson

Today, I showed my niece Beauty and the Beast, her favorite character was Chip so while I went to the bathroom she proceeded to go to the China cabinet and start breaking my sisters China cups till one looked like chip. FML.

oh the irony.. - 03/04/2016 23:20 - United States - San Diego

Today, I dropped and lost my 700$ phone in the parking lot of a 99 cent store. FML.

bahklava - 03/04/2016 23:20 - United States

Today was my cousin's wedding, and his socially awkward younger brother was assigned to be the ring bearer. When it came time to present the rings, the ring bearer refused to give up the rings and announced in front of 100 people, "The ring is mine!" FML.

bigbagofnope - 03/04/2016 22:51 - United Kingdom

Today, while smoking with my boyfriend I coughed so hard that I pissed on myself and his sofa. FML

What? - 03/04/2016 22:48 - United States - Houston

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for not celebrating our 3 week anniversary. I didn't even know that was a thing. FML.

Anonymous - 03/04/2016 22:32 - United States - Denver

Today, my class took a camping trip. Everything was fine, until lights out, where everyone slept in one room. During the night, I kept hearing squish sounds and heavy breathing. I realized it was two of my classmates having sex, while another masturbated to it. I'm the only one who noticed. FML

dieselchemist - 03/04/2016 22:05 - United States - Springtown

Today, I returned from my week long honeymoon. Today is also the day my husband was admitted to the ICU with heart and kidney failure. FML.

anon - 03/04/2016 22:01 - United States - Littleton

Today, I peed my pants for the first time since I was a child. In front of my whole family. And my landlord. I'm 17. FML

Renamon - 03/04/2016 22:00 - United States - Provo

My sister got pregnant from someone at a party she went to, and instead of doing the responsible thing: telling our parents, or dealing with it on her own, she manages to pin it on me, and now I'm heading to jail. Apparently incest here in my state is punishable "Up to 5y and $5,000 fine". FML

sadsinglemama - 03/04/2016 21:58 - United States - Oxnard

Today, my "traditional" father once again berated me to the point of tears for Being a single mother. Yet he seems to have absolutely no problem with my older brother who has four kids with three different women. Fml

Alli - 03/04/2016 21:50 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my boyfriend and his friend switched info for a prank on Kik. Without informing me. The "sexy pics" he wanted from me when I woke up went straight to his friend. FML

broken iPhone 6 user - 03/04/2016 21:32 - United States - Sparta

Today, I went to see my brother play in his band at a bar. During his set they pulled my friend up on stage, so I decided to take a picture of them. At that moment my friend decided to dive off the stage right on to me throwing my phone 5 feet to the left smashing my phone screen. FML

Anonymous - 03/04/2016 21:32 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got married. I invited my family despite their lack of support. They criticised every decision I made, showed up late, in the wrong dress code, delayed our reception and took home all the leftover food. They didn't even give a gift. FML.

privatepolicy99 - 03/04/2016 21:08 - United States

Today, my sister didn't approve of my song choice in the car. She decided it would be more logical to grab my phone, which was Bluetooth connected, and chuck it out of the car that was going 60 miles, then to ask me to change the song. FML

justme274 - 03/04/2016 21:03 - United States - Atlanta

My dad's excuse for picking me up eight hours late was that he was in a different state. He forgets that I can see his location on Find My Iphone. He was five minutes away at our house. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I reported one of our college professors for openly displaying pornography on his office door. There was an investigation. He works in the Arts department and claims it's "photographic art." The campus agreed. I got formally reprimanded. What is "art" about explicit photos of naked children? FML

539

271

Today, after moving into my new house, my partner's father came to give us his old sofa. Now, an hour before he has to leave, he's half-completed 3 DIY jobs we didn't want done in the first place, and smashed my water inlet pipe. I have no water and a destroyed kitchen. FML

4 924

443

Today, I came up with the idea of pranking my girlfriend by telling her that I knew she was cheating on me. She then apologized. FML

6 309

2 461

Today, I found out I’m not getting a raise, despite my ‘outstanding’ performance, since the company made a loss this year. Last year I didn’t get a raise because of COVID uncertainty. The year before that I didn’t get a raise because I only just got ‘promoted’, where I also didn’t get a raise. FML

1 152

127

Today, I spent an hour trying to log into my work email. I apparently kept typing the wrong password and eventually got locked out for 24 hours. My boss texted me five minutes later asking why I wasn’t responding to his emails. FML

135

314

Today, I found out the hard way that it is possible to sunburn the soles of your feet. FML

21 256

5 029