Your everyday life stories

PanicWithSirens - 04/04/2016 04:15 - United States - Billerica

A couple months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me because he came out as gay. Today, I found out he cheated on me the whole time with another girl, and, now has a new, better girlfriend. FML.

GameOps - 04/04/2016 04:09 - United States - Irving

Today while on an expensive dinner date, my girlfriend publicly announced she was madly in love with the boy of her dreams. I even had an engagement ring ready in my pocket and had gotten her fathers blessing a few days before this. This would all be great, except the boy of her dreams isn't me. FML

Capriciousfox - 04/04/2016 04:01 - United States - Peoria

Today, I had my first seizure at 19 and fell and hit my head. I was rushed to the hospital. They have no idea what's wrong. FML

jaydoll12345 - 04/04/2016 03:56 - United States - Hialeah

Today,I found an email my boyfriend wrote to some YouTuber asking how to get his "lazy unhealthy sack of shit girlfriend to workout" because she can "have a better body" FML.

BLARGTEHTACO - 04/04/2016 03:55 - Canada - Orangeville

Today, I can't focus on anything because of my ADD, but if I take my meds then my Tourettes will become so severe that it distracts me even more and causes me pain, and if I take the meds for that then I'll be too tired to even get up to go to the washroom. FML.

anonymous - 04/04/2016 03:54 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I woke up to the sound of my mom and her boyfriend having sex, I wouldn't have been too bothered by it if we weren't sharing a hotel room and the beds weren't 5 feet away from each other. FML

Damn - 04/04/2016 03:51

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text. I'd be more understanding, if the reasoning wasn't because he is now straight. FML

CatForSale - 04/04/2016 03:35 - United Kingdom - Stone

Today, I decided to have some time alone and masturbate for the first time in weeks. After three hours of attempting to give myself an orgasm, my cat decided to attack me and run off, just when I was about to cum. This isn't the first time he's done this. FML

ouch - 04/04/2016 03:24 - United States - Phoenix

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend. She lovingly told me that I am bigger than my best friend who she had been cheating on me with. FML

SaltyMuch - 04/04/2016 03:19 - United States - Schnecksville

Today, After finally gaining to courage to text this girl i really like, I made a dumb blonde joke to get her to smile. Turns out she is blonde but has dyed hair. Let's just say it's not going to happen. FML

rmonk - 04/04/2016 03:17 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, I had to take a piss in the middle of my friend's party. I went to the bathroom but had the worst double stream of my life. One stream of my pee went in the toilet while the other curved over onto the floor. I then spent 5 minutes shamefully wiping up my own piss. FML

thisisthestupid - 04/04/2016 03:17 - United States

Today, my fiancé tried to force me to eat his dead skin that he pulled off his foot. FML

anonymous - 04/04/2016 03:17 - United States - Mchenry

Today, my best friend of years chose the guy that broke my heart over me. FML.

anonymous - 04/04/2016 03:12 - United States - Nashville

Today, My wife and I were using a vibrator that we like to call "the bullet". Unfortunately instead of squirting like she normally does she peed! All over my freshly cleaned sheets. FML

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 03:06 - United States - Beloit

Today, I woke up to the sound of glass breaking. When I went and checked what is was, I came to find that my little 3 year old sister smashed my new $80 perfume I just bought. My parents say that I can't be mad because it was "my fault for leaving it out", but It was hidden in my safe. FML

evelyn365 - 04/04/2016 03:04 - United States - Springboro

Today, despite putting on sunscreen every 20 minutes, I managed to get a very awkward sunburn. My boyfriend commented that I look like a "patchwork of pain and regret" when we started getting intimate. I can't disagree. FML.

no name - 04/04/2016 03:00 - United States - Elgin

Today, my boyfriend tried to do a make up challenge with me, once he was done I looked better than I can make myself look. FML

dante123113 - 04/04/2016 02:56 - United States - Jensen Beach

Today, I slipped in the bathroom at the pool, while wearing shoes. I slammed my hand into the ceramic light switch faceplate, and my foot put a hole in the tiled wall. Both my brothers saw it, I will never hear the end of this. FML

allergic - 04/04/2016 02:52 - United States - Rochester

Today, I woke up and heard meowing coming from suspiciously close by. I thought nothing of it until I went to work and got a text. Turns out my roommates decided to get a cat without asking me first. I'm allergic to cats. FML

brokentoe? - 04/04/2016 02:48 - Canada - Madoc

Today, I was working my horrible job in furniture moving. I hate my job so much but no one around is hiring. I was lifting a fairly heavy dresser when it slipped. I dropped it right on to my toe. The worst part is I was hoping it was broken so I didn't have to continue to work. FML

yenze - 04/04/2016 02:45 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I lost my job, my girlfriend, and my house. FML.

ouch - 04/04/2016 02:45 - United States - Milford

Today, I finally met my goal to lose 10 pounds in a healthy way! I was going to hit the mall as a reward for my weight loss. My dad stopped me and said "you should really live a healthy lifestyle and drop some lbs so that you can fit into the clothes you already have". I run everyday and diet. FML.

EYEron man - 04/04/2016 02:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I noticed one of the light bulbs in my living room light fixture had burned out and and to please my parents, I tried to replace it my self. Unbeknownst to me, parts of the metal had chipped off and ended up in my eye. I had to spend 5 agonizing & painful minutes taking them out by hand. FML

Sam - 04/04/2016 02:41 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I found out that when I missed a day of school 5 weeks ago we were assigned a major assignment for the unit, even after asking the professor what I had missed the next day he said "Nothing." It's due tomorrow. FML

hails - 04/04/2016 02:38 - United States - Fargo

Today, is my birthday. I have over 4,000 friends on Facebook and not one person commented on my page or wished me happy birthday. FML.

anonymous - 04/04/2016 02:32 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had my older brother (legal guardian) order ants to me so I can finish my ant farm. He thought it would be funny to order fire ants. When I opened the tub of ants to look at them, thinking there was a film covering them, they crawled all over me and bit me. I'm in a hospital for 2 days. FML

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 02:24 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, my father informed me that he and my mother have been discussing my sexuality behind my back for God knows how long because "all of my role models are females." I wouldn't be so annoyed if they weren't correct. FML.

Anonymous - 04/04/2016 02:20 - United States - Wentzville

Today, after 8 months of being in love with my best friend, I decided to confess my feelings for him. Then only to find out that he was needing to tell me that he had a new girlfriend. FML.

maalmawr - 04/04/2016 02:14 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I took off from Detroit to Los Angeles for a business trip, just to land and find out the only credit card I took with me was locked because of some charges made in New York. Now I'm stuck in CA with no money. FML

Thanks - 04/04/2016 02:07 - United States - Richmond Hill

Today, a little kid asked her mother a question about me... If I was male or female. Which wouldn't have bothered me until the mother hesitated to answer. Later my coworker then told me that he can't see why anyone would be attracted to me as I'm not that pretty. Thanks. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while taking the bus home, a girl stared at me for a while before asking me if I'd ever heard of makeup. FML

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Today, I asked my girlfriend to wait at my new place for some furniture to be delivered. When I got the notification on my phone, I checked the cameras and saw her pressing her sweaty armpits against multiple surfaces. When confronted, she said she was using pheromones to “mark her territory.” WTF? FML

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Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

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Today, a mama from my daughter's class has been talking nicely with me, and we've been friends for the past year, going to the playground and library together regularly. Now, all of a sudden, she has stopped talking or going out with us for no reason. I don't know if my daughter and I are both back in school now. FML

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Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML

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Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

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