Health: Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in...

By Username - 21/01/2011 03:55

Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 28 241

vote type 1 3 651

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By Anonymous - 24/06/2020 05:01

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

agreeclassic 1 425

vote type 1 210

The sound of silence

By hearing too much - 03/11/2019 02:00

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

agreeclassic 1 794

vote type 1 231

By monochrometea - 09/09/2011 02:07 - United States

Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML

agreeclassic 26 906

vote type 1 2 376

By silent one - 12/09/2011 05:30 - United States

Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML

agreeclassic 27 292

vote type 1 3 034

By I hear everything... - 22/04/2017 18:00

Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 4 093

vote type 1 307

By op-poopy - 22/04/2011 14:26 - Canada

Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML

agreeclassic 30 078

vote type 1 2 600

By edwinduarte1 - 13/09/2010 06:49 - France

Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML

agreeclassic 30 212

vote type 1 3 314

By Anon - 20/01/2017 22:00

Today, as any other work day, I sat down for lunch. Unfortunately, the door to the toilet is right next to where I sit. Every time a colleague uses the toilet, I hear everything, which puts me off my lunch. FML

agreeclassic 6 135

vote type 1 1 737

By Anonymous - 01/07/2019 04:14

Today, I realised I can tell which family member has just left the bathroom from the smell alone. FML

agreeclassic 1 671

vote type 1 182

Cursed buildings

By investing in earplugs - 23/02/2022 05:59

Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML

agreeclassic 803

vote type 1 338

krysxkatastrophe 14

Friday 21 January 2011 9:16

Smirk at him back! If he can hear you, you can hear him.

Waffcakes 0

Friday 21 January 2011 9:04

you could always be like shut up! I know what you do in your bedroom... and walk away chuckling lol but thats creepy..

Comments

ddjjrrff 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 1:28

tell him that you can hear everything that goes on in his bedroom

SpRiTzSpLaSh 7

Sunday 23 January 2011 18:23

haha well are you a guy or a girl? lol.

siddhartha 0

Friday 28 January 2011 22:36

what's that on your head?

zahra_786 19

Thursday 18 April 2013 11:42

Start doing morse code to your neighbour through the bathroom wall to make things even more interesting and to freak him out. Might as well :D

natheitz 23

Sunday 16 June 2013 8:00

Shit happens, everyone does it

gio4467 7

Saturday 21 September 2013 22:05

This is actually a fear of mine...FYL

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Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML

agreeclassic 682

vote type 1 175

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

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Today, I finally finished my summer assignments for three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out my school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of my summer. FML

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Today, a woman contacted me because she thinks my daughter and her children are half siblings. I thought it was a scam until she sent me a picture of my estranged ex and her kids, who look almost identical to mine. I’m the eighth woman she's contacted so far, with who knows how many more to go. FML

agreeclassic 2 499

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Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML

agreeclassic 839

vote type 1 130

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

agreeclassic 39 376

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