Winter: Snow and Funny News

Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around!

Perfect timing

legotron - - United States

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

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Alexa, play "Athlete Cured" by The Fall

Anonymous - 25/01/2024 12:00 - Germany

Today, and every winter day, my neighbor lets his car warm up in the driveway, even though it’s harmful to the engine as it doesn’t lubricate properly while running in neutral. It’s also illegal in my country. He still does it for up to half an hour every day. FML

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Snow day

J…… - 21/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Coventry

Today, is the second time this week that school is delayed because of snow or "extreme ice." It's like we're Texas now, they get 2 inches of snow and the whole state gets shut down, but no, I live in Rhode Island. I gotta go to work. FML

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Just chilling

Cold - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my room was so cold that I actually had to wear a coat to enter it without feeling extremely uncomfortable. I have insulated curtains for this exact reason, but it looks like that won't do. FML

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Fall vibes

Karen (no not that one) - 25/10/2023 06:00

Today, as the weather is getting cold, I got my cozy fall sweater out of the closet. I soon realized I had left a candy bar in the pocket sometime last year, and it had melted all over the inside. FML

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Late night

Ring a ding ding - 15/10/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML

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Climate change sucks

Jules - 17/07/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, and for the past seven weeks, the weather forecast has been the same, invariably saying, "This week, it’ll be either hot or rainy, but next week it’ll be mild and sunny." I’m still waiting for "next week's” weather. FML

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Get your cats fixed

Anonymous - 11/04/2023 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, my cat is shedding her winter fur, so wherever she goes she leaves a cloud of fluff behind. She is also in heat for the first time, so I have to keep her inside – just to make sure that my nice, clean house doesn’t miss out on even a single one of her precious hairs. FML

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The Glastonbury experience goes worldwide

Anonymous - 04/03/2023 02:00

Today, I went to a music festival in an area where the weather is practically sunny all year round, but for this special occasion it rained the whole time, turning the venue into a giant mud pit. FML

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Drama kings and queens unite!

IGoOutWalking - 25/02/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I was doing some routine maintenance on my car when a radiator connector broke unexpectedly. I realized I'd rather walk 3 miles in freezing temperatures than call my nearest friends for a ride and have to listen to their drama. FML

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Lovely day

Anonymous - 21/02/2023 12:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, it’s this year’s first spring-like day, with warm sunshine, birdsong, and the first tiny flowers! So of course I'm taking full advantage of this delightful weather by… being sick and staying indoors. FML

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Snow day

Middle Age Divorced Dad - 05/02/2023 18:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, driving out of my neighbourhood, I encountered three snow plows heading towards me. I tried to turn around in a stranger's driveway but wasn't fast enough, and they left a wall 4-feet high of ice and snow, blocking me in. I rang the doorbell, borrowed their shovel and dug out their driveway. Its -32 with wind-chill. FML

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It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Like Shit)

The lights will flicker on...and off... - 18/12/2022 18:00

Today, the massive snowstorm that has been mercilessly attacking my city for the past week started causing random, brief blackouts every 2-5 minutes. I'm very sick, so the last thing I need is for this house to be cold. FML

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Alexa, play "Heat Wave" by Martha and the Vandellas

Anonymous - 03/08/2022 02:00

Today, I checked my local weather forecast. The highs are supposed to be 85-94°F (29-35°C) for 9 of the next 10 days. It's been 95-102°F (35-39°C) for the past week. I have no air conditioning. I'm so tired of this heat! Fuck climate change! FML

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OK Doomer

Fuck mankind already - 08/05/2022 04:00

Today, I realized just how we humans are dooming ourselves every day with the progressively insurmountable climate change, while people are being stupid arguing which is best, cold weather or hot weather. And that's just to name a few things to think humans ain't evolving any further at all. FML

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Cold snap

Anonymous - 05/04/2022 06:00 - Germany

Today, we're both sick, the heating hasn’t been working for 3 days, yet the repair company refuses to fix it because some technicality is not up to current regulations. Right on time, we’re also about to be hit by a cold spell, promising sub-zero temperatures. FML

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Fuzzy logic

Anonymous - 21/02/2022 14:00

Today, I arrived home and it was freezing. I asked why the windows and doors on the terrace were open and my roommate told me it was because she'd mopped the floor… on the terrace. The terrace that's outdoors. She thinks that this way the floor would dry faster. FML

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Nearly Spring

Anonymous - 04/02/2022 13:59

Today, I only open my curtains in the morning so my plants won’t die. Me, I leave in the dark and return in the dark. The only time I see the sun in winter is during lunch breaks and weekends. FML

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Bit nippy out

Anonymous - 24/01/2022 07:59 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom wants to save money on both heating and electricity. Put into practice, this means that the temperature in my room is about the same as that in our fridge. FML

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Ice Ice Baby

Anonymous - 31/12/2021 20:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I thought I’d preheat the car so I wouldn’t have to scrape the ice off the windshield and could start driving in a toasty vehicle. Turns out it’s a bit difficult to flip a switch on the dashboard of a car with the doors frozen shut. FML

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Winter coat

Jules - 31/10/2021 05:00 - Germany

Today, I learned that if I order fuel oil for my house’s central heating right now, it won't be delivered before January. Yes, that’s in three months. No, I don't live in one of those countries where it’s still warm in October. FML

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Climate change

Anonymous - 06/09/2021 08:00

Today, my country isn’t exactly cold, but with our house being what it is, the only difference in summer is that you can actually turn off the heating, and if you’re lucky, you still won’t need to wear long underwear inside. Much. FML

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Thermoregulation wars

NoCirculation - 24/11/2020 14:03 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my boyfriend is wearing a t-shirt and shorts. I'm wearing leggings, sweatpants, a vest, t-shirt, jumper and hoodie. If we turn the heating any higher, he starts overheating and sweating. At the current level, I'm still shivering. FML

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Extreme phobias

Calimero0 - 11/08/2020 17:02

Today, it's 30 degrees Celsius in my bedroom, but I need to stay completely under the covers, because even though I live on the other side of the world, I can't stop thinking about Australian huntsman spiders. FML

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Chilly

Anonymous - 27/07/2020 23:03

Today, I'm a young, healthy non-smoker, getting plenty of exercise and walking about 8.000 steps a day. I still have ice-cold feet. Even wearing two pairs of socks. And Lambswool boots. In July. FML

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- 17/04/2019 14:00

Today, while working at a grocery store, I spent about 30 minutes pushing carts inside in a blizzard. Not even 10 minutes after I had finished, I looked out the window and saw that not only had the snow completely stopped, but the sun was shining. FML

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something - 16/02/2019 18:00

Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML

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sasha625 - 22/12/2018 14:00

Today, I was running late for work. My windshield had completely frozen over. I didn’t have anything to dissolve the ice..except some coffee I had made 30 minutes earlier. I decided to dump my coffee on my windshield. Instead of dissolving the ice, the creamer froze on entire windshield. FML

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Anonymous - 17/11/2018 17:30

Today, my boiler packed up on me just as the weather has turned cold, with no money to have it fixed. Hello to a week of freezing cold showers. FML

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purplepixie23 - 22/09/2018 14:00

Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend and I were together for 10 months when he told me I’m the only person he’s ever been with who’s made him feel safe and able to be vulnerable and open up for the first time… and made him realise he has trauma to work through. He then dumped me on the spot so he could work through it. FML

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Today, I woke up duct-taped to the toilet in nothing but a straitjacket. I don't remember what happened. FML

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Today, an older lady approached me at work and stroked my hair, telling me it was 'beautiful'. This isn't unusual, I'm a natural redhead and octogenarians especially seem to love the colour. However, the unusual part was the glob of snot she left in my hair from her unwashed hands. FML

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Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML

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Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

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Today, I went on a first date with a guy who insisted we watch a film at his place. I agreed, despite feeling wary of a potential trap. Halfway through the film, he fell asleep and started snoring. When he woke up, he blamed me for “keeping him up all night.” I was there for less than an hour. FML

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