PsyDaKayaker

Xenu approves

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML

Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML

Too late

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML