Lakeland, U.S. 32 years-old In a relationship
Today, I woke up to a nude picture of my girlfriend. Once I looked at it my morning wood went away. FML
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
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