Today, my boyfriend of almost two years proposed to me. Everything was perfect. The ring was beautiful. And seconds after I said yes, he went to play his new Xbox game. FML
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
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