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life_suxxx · 17 December 2009, 06:09 ·United States

Bad doggy

Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 589 You deserved it 4 911

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Dog fart · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

It's a gas gas gas

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 392 You deserved it 4 010

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