Spicy

Awkward parenting

By Anthony - 14/04/2016 23:15 - France

Spicy

Today, on a train, a little boy and a little girl came up to me and asked how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appeared and said, "Go on, tell them!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 266

You deserved it 1 672

By SureDoesMakeAGirlFeelGood - 13/04/2016 01:45 - Canada - Paradise

Spicy

Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 502

You deserved it 4 500

By dudster25 - 10/04/2016 04:20 - United States - Hanford

Spicy

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 391

You deserved it 40 126

By Anonymous - 08/04/2016 21:01 - United States - East Orange

Spicy

Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 493

You deserved it 5 541

Turn me on

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Meriden

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 265

You deserved it 2 958

By emi - 03/04/2016 17:18 - United States - Oklahoma City

Spicy

Today, the guy I've been seeing asked me to have a threesome. With his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 447

You deserved it 2 782

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - 02/04/2016 15:48 - United States - Nashville

Spicy

Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great if it hadn't been a dream, and if the guy in question hadn't been my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 041

You deserved it 4 730

By titkip - 02/04/2016 00:30 - Kenya - Nairobi

Spicy

Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I'm too demanding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 787

You deserved it 9 605

By shameonme - 01/04/2016 19:46 - United States - Nampa

Spicy

Today, I found out one of my friends had never seen the "Two Girls, One Cup" video, so I loaded it up and told him to watch it. I knew he was squeamish, but I didn't expect him to actually pass out. He cracked his head on the side of my desk and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 827

You deserved it 17 393

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 034

You deserved it 1 643

By Anonymous - 27/03/2016 03:53 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 000

You deserved it 33 793

By Liz - 26/03/2016 19:26 - United States - Torrance

Spicy

Today, my boss/husband fired me from my job because I didn't sleep with him last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 363

You deserved it 3 632

By Anonymous - 26/03/2016 17:13 - United States - Antioch

Spicy

Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 260

You deserved it 2 342

By anonymous - 25/03/2016 22:19 - United States - Manchester

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time, the one day my period came early. He thought it was a sign from God and thinks we're going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 3 224

By thegirlwiththedumbassbf - 23/03/2016 22:58 - United States - Camarillo

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had sex with my sister, but it's ok because I'm better in bed. He seriously doesn't understand why I dumped his sorry ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 006

You deserved it 2 218

By JJ - 21/03/2016 19:06 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Spicy

Today, I, a vampire-pale girl, went on a blind date with a very dark-skinned young man. We got on like a house on fire, and everything was going smoothly until we leant in for the kiss. I was wearing makeup and no setting spray. He came away with half his face smudged snow white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 474

You deserved it 9 527

Steamy

By Hotdamn - 21/03/2016 04:32 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 309

You deserved it 3 190

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 02:05 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my husband that when I get my birth control taken out later this year, I would like to take a break from it for a while. He just said, "Condoms are too expensive and I don't want to waste $2 every time we do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 070

You deserved it 2 648

By Anonymous - 19/03/2016 07:29 - United States - New Orleans

Spicy

Today, I was up late and heard my mother and her boyfriend come home. After a full minute of bed-creaking action, I heard him exclaim, "I did it! A new record, haha!" I can't get it out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 1 888

By Anonymous - 18/03/2016 20:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 081

You deserved it 4 018

By UnicornWaffles - 16/03/2016 17:23 - Taiwan - Taipei

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 044

You deserved it 3 282

UnicornWaffles tells us more.

UnicornWaffles 23

Friday 18 March 2016 2:13

Hey fellas, quick clarification. When he said what he said I just blurted out laughing, because to me it obviously was a joke. Further confirmation would have either ruin the joke or ruin sex with him forever. He may have very well been a mother-****** but I wouldn't need to know, as we're not dating each other. That being said, I'm positive it's humor, and any humor is a good laugh to me if you appreciate the other person's intension to make you happy. I did forbid him to say that again in bed though; it'll just be creepy a second time. Thanks for you comments :) we had a good laugh.

Enjoyed yourself I see

By Anonameow - 15/03/2016 18:42 - United States - Freeland

Spicy

Today, after lots of overcast weather, we opened the blinds to the children's section in the library, to let in the beautiful sunshine. Fifteen preschoolers were greeted by the sight of a used condom plastered against the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 778

You deserved it 1 637

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 450

You deserved it 2 514

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 903

You deserved it 3 054

PUA

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 16:16 - United States - Smyrna

Spicy

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 389

You deserved it 2 248

By cemakara3 - 12/03/2016 20:07 - Denmark - Vallensb?k

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she is pretty enough since I "wanted it to be over so fast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 244

You deserved it 3 077

cemakara3 tells us more.

cemakara3 11

Sunday 13 March 2016 20:05

Hey OP here. I showed my gf some of the comments on here and she is not mad anymore. Thanks!!

By Anonymous - 11/03/2016 22:09 - United Kingdom - Hatfield

Spicy

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 890

You deserved it 20 852

By awkwardmandy - 11/03/2016 18:28 - United States - Okeene

Spicy

Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 632

You deserved it 2 398

By BeccaRaye - 11/03/2016 18:19

Spicy

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, only to witness a woman with her shirt pulled up giving herself a sink bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 369

You deserved it 1 531

BeccaRaye tells us more.

BeccaRaye 19

Saturday 12 March 2016 4:32

actually I do lol

97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was playing baseball. My full name is Nadeene, my nickname is Dee, but people have started calling me Nads. Someone yelled out "Go Nads" as I went up to bat. Guess what my new nickname is? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 465

You deserved it 322

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 334

You deserved it 81 404

Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 977

You deserved it 2 177

Today, our daughter threatened to throw us out if her mom asked about having children again. My wife is completely unable to control herself, and lasted a full 30 seconds before trying to restart the baby conversation. We weren’t just thrown out, she soaked us with the hose all the way to our car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 1 999

Today, I got drug tested for the second time this week. It's Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 696

You deserved it 5 072

Today, I was out for a walk with my family when we saw a sign that read "you are here." That's when my son asked, "how do they know where we are?" My son is 14 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 172

You deserved it 496