FML - The Follow-Up

Hi everyone, I am the OP. I am so glad this got published!! Also, all of these coments are great :) To add more to the story: My sister and I went out to lunch with my dad because he was in town and wanted to see us. He seemed to have changed since he divorced my mom 15 years ago, so we let him drive us home, which is how he knew where our apartment was. Later that night, I heard noises in our apartment, so my badass sister tackled him and pepper-sprayed him as he was trying to pick up our TV. He was aressted (he actually had a knife) and we are getting a restraining order against him.

LOL they definitely weren't lying when they said the internet could be brutal. First off, I have ten other tattoos and this is the first time something like this has happened. I take great care in all of my tattoos. I would like to think of myself as an incredibly clean person. Anal to a certain extent. I live with a very talented and successful tattoo artist. He too was freaked out waking up to ants in our bed. I didn't use anything scented. Just the typical A&D ointment. It was not infected nor did it get infected. It was just one of those crappy things that happen to people. I have had another tattoo since then and am happy to say there was no ant attack this time! But thanks everyone for your comments and likes! And for those that don't think you can see a tattoo in your future, please don't let this be the reason! I highly doubt this is a common occurance. Thanks again everyone and have a great day!

Apparently his friend gave him some to try. He's only 14 so I don't think he knew any better. He told me he was experimenting, and I think that's an okay thing to do so long as he learned his lesson. He is just a young stupid teenager. Moral of the story: Don't do drugs, kids. Or you'll burn your penises.

OP here guys! Just for your information, I'm a woman and my spouse is a man.

OP here. Well She didn't say it as a joke. She's always been a let down. But thank you all for the good comments. No I don't cheat. I love my boyfriend. Been together almost two years. Didn't plan for a baby because the doctors told him he wasn't able. He's so happy. And i'm always tired. Ad for the woman who also have mother in law problems keep your heads up :)

Hi everyone! I'm the OP and for those who were wondering I am in college which makes this story the more embarrassing! It was my first presentation this semester. It was a group presentation so I was already standing in front of the class with the rest of my group waiting for my turn to speak. Someone commented how come nobody told me when I walked in the class, when I walked in my jacket was zipped up, I started playing with my zipper when I was up in front of the class because it is a nervous tick I have, I do it without even noticing it. Kinda like how some girls twirl their hair or bite their nails. Of course either one of those would have been less embarrassing on that particular day!

Just so you know, I live in a council estate so I always figured my neighbour would be able to break in if he wanted. It was just a shocked to see how easy it was. And I can't change the locks with out going through a big pile of paper work and waiting for permission. So much hassle. Any way thanks for the funny comments =)

I did not expect this to get posted at all haha well anyway it was actually a pink unicorn onesie (yes I'm a child inside), I'm definitely going to buy it because it's not the seller's fault and my best friend is going to buy it off me for a onesie party she's going to so I'll just change the address to her house, no harm done. I'm very surprised I won the auction because I am always outbid at the last minute, the demand for pink unicorns probably isn't very high. Thanks for your comments, even the one that said I was an asshole lol :)

Thanks for all the supportive comments. When I explained to him the situation he apologised and sent me home. I reported him to my senior manager and he has since received a warning for inappropriate behavior. My aunt is doing really well now, they caught it early and they say she will make a 100% recovery. She's talking again as well, but she will have to stay in hospital for a while for monitoring. Reading all the comments made me feel a lot better as well, thank you!

I think there was a bit of misunderstanding it was just my boss who thought that way, the ladies i work with are the most respectful and caring people i have ever met.

He didn't give an excuse. I was laughing my ass off in the office though.

Hi there. OP here. Temporal lobe epilepsy involves some pretty freakish seizures that are actually interpreted as religious visions by many. They're a very intense spiritual experience. I was fifteen years old, and spent the next three years as a devout Christian, my own logic at war with my profound sense of purpose. Then I turned 18 and discovered marijuana. Lo and behold, the "visions" disappeared, and I was an atheist again. I made the connection between the drug and the cessation of my fits when I stopped taking it and they came back. Epilepsy never occurred to me until recently, the first time I collapsed into a grand mal seizure in public. I picked myself up off the ground in confusion to meet a lot of stares, and a woman nearby informed me I'd had a seizure. The "aura" that I'd gotten just before blacking out and convulsing was the same as the onset of my previous "visions", the first real clue I'd ever gotten. And yes, my mother is an idiot. When I said that I'd had a seizure while she'd been across the fairgrounds, she accused me of being drunk and said she was disappointed in me for ruining our fun evening at the carnival.

Thanks for all the helpful comments! As to what happened next, security was called and we ended up looking at the camera footage which proved that I didn't steal the shirt. The manager was humiliated and apologized, but either way I am not going to be shopping from that store ever again.

Hey! I got another lemon in a box today, with the same note. But this time, the "Date me" was in caps and there was drawn a smiley on the lemon. I'm kinda getting creeped out, and i still haven't figured out who made it.

The neighbour in question was male. No he was not naked (thank god). When he noticed me he just ran off back to his house.

First thing first: I'm a girl. I have an engineering degree from one of the top universities in my field, and hold all the necessary certifications and then some. I do have a military background, but I am not in the military any longer, and I now have a full-time job at one of the top IT firms in the country. I'm a consultant, meaning I contract out to our company's clients. The "superior" in question was a higher up on the client side which is why he makes so much more than I do. He's been there at least 10 years. I'm on year 2 with my company. As anyone who's been a contractor will tell you, you can only explain to a client that they are being insane for so long until you do what they ask because they are paying the bills and "the customer is always right" *sigh* I obviously can not tell you which client it was. I'm really enjoying the witty responses, and even the not so witty ones (I did use the proper form of "there," you imbecile.)

Haha! I love the comments! I just want to let everyone know, I am not making fun of him or bashing him. I love how he is taking this situation. He seriously is the best :)

Hey, just wanted to inform everyone that yes, she is obviously my ex-girlfriend now and that i'm feeling fine. I was actually out skateboarding with some friends when i got the texts from her, and once i showed them, they made me feel a lot better. We were actually dating for a year and almost two months, but i never thought she would end it like that. So between my friends and the support from you guys i realized that i deserved better then her and i'll be more careful next time in choosing a partner. Thanks guys :)

OP here! Just to clarify: Waves knock people off their feet easily. We weren't lazy, we just didn't want to walk barefoot through a place covered with broken beer bottles and vomit. We couldn't break the window because the van had an alarm system, plus it was a nice van and we didn't want to harm it - especially if we were perfectly capable of walking to the hotel and dealing with it the next day.

Just to clarify it was my nephew who broke his arm. After it happened we asked my cousin to leave and my brother took my nephew to the hospital. The rest of the ceremony went as planned and my brother and nephew made it back in time for the reception. My cousin doesn't usually drink so it was a surprise when he showed up drunk but he has apologized and everything has been smoothed over.

Hey. Firstly, I am Canadian, and in Ontario, you can carry a folding (not spring assisted or butterfly) knife, with a blade under 3 or 4 inches in length. You can look up the rules if you want. So yes, I was carrying it legally. And why do I carry a knife? Because I use it as a tool. It's not a weapon. I was in the forest, it was a tool. He said he needed it as a tool. I believed him, it's a logical claim. I can understand why it would seem like a ridiculously dumb idea to let someone borrow your knife, but you need to understand two things: I live in a small, Canadian town. I literally can not remember the last time anyone was attacked here, so I did not fear attack. Also, we were deep in the forest, where there are many reasons that one needs a knife. So, I let him use the knife because he said he needed it. I know it's kind of stupid, and I'm never lending out a knife again, but oh well. He seemed like a nice, polite, well put together guy. He didn't look like your typical mugger, so that's why I lent it out. He had obviously seen the clip of the knife, as I carry it clipped to the inside of my pocket, as that's the law where I live. And people saying "a woman in a forest, alone, lending out her knife to weird men.... bad idea", I agree. But, I'm not the type of woman you want to fight with, and I'm not some delicate woman alone and afraid. I can hold my own. But, I do have too much faith in humanity, and I trust people too much. As for people saying "track down your phone", I did. I live close to the forest, so I just ran back home and tracked the phone down. I had it back within a few hours. I lost the $70 in my wallet, but that's not much. He was a stupid thief. The police took care of him. And, by the way, I never got my knife back :( I'm gonna go buy another knife, and I'm never gonna lend it out again. In the end, it was scary (I've never been mugged before) and I lost $100 ($70 cash from my wallet, and the knife was worth $30 ish), but I've learned a lesson. Thanks, everyone. And yes, I know I deserved it!

OP here to explain further, I'm a manager for a big and tall clothing store and hygiene is covered in the training manual. he was wearing the EXACT Same clothing everyday he worked(multiple days in a row). the stains, wrinkles, abd odor constantly increased. I really don't feel like I was bullying him and I even offered to help purchase him new clothes. he took offense to that as well and went on a rant about how his family is ridiculously wealthy. his work ethic was atrocious, he stopped every

Hey, it's me, OP. So this isn't the first time he's sleep talked before. Occasionally he'll moan, or like the other night, mutter something about eating Nutella. Anyway. This is the first time it scared the bejesus out of me and the first time he opened his eyes. Usually I ask him about it the next morning and he has no idea and wants to know what he said. This morning it was the same response. When I asked what he was dreaming about, he was dreaming that he was a bad ass drug lord apparently. I think we've been watching too much Weeds, the TV show...

I'm not complaining at all. Haha its just sad how I don't even know when its coming cuz it never goes in order. I'm very lucky to have him! :) Also, he doesn't buy me chocolate because he knows I hate sweets so he gets me water and pizza instead lol.

I'm actually just visiting my mom over the summer, since I'm off from college. I burst out laughing when she did this, and thought this post would make people smile. There's nothing bad about what she did. So before some of you start making assumptions saying I'm a cranky old fart and what not, take a reality check and shut that smart ass mouth of yours. Good day.

OP here. Different username since I didn't have an account when I wrote this. Just thought I'd do a little follow up. As far as the no receipt thing, yea, I know, shame on me. I'm getting more work done on an existing tattoo and this is the place where I had started at, so I didn't think much of it. This particular shop is known for how great the artists there are, so it is worth the six month wait (to me at least). It ends up the guy I had made the appointment with had quit the shop and taken his appointment book with him, so they had to way to contact me about it and apparently he isn't as professional as I thought since he didn't contact me either to let me know he moved shops. The shop itself was able to move some things around and I'm still able to get my work done at my time, just with a new artist so everything has worked out. Thanks for all the comments!

Funny thing, I logged in to do just that. I had to make the FML short, so some details were left out of course. The 'bus' was actually a company minibus taking people from the company parking lot to the office building and back. There is no room for standing. The distance between the parking and office is 20 min on foot btw. Yes, I measured that. Yes, the guy did take the aisle seat and then scooted over when I got on. It's just a courtesy between colleagues. Honestly, I don't know how it smelled. My sense of smell is so dull, only the most vile blasts register with me. For all I know, he could of just been pulling my leg, in which case he had the misfortune of picking on the one guy that would of reacted to that prank with nothing but a deadpan "Thanks". Oh well, **** his life :)

Wow, I can't believe this got posted so soon, haha. Anyway, the beau had already purchased his beverage of choice earlier without getting anything for me, so we went back. I gave him cash to pay for my portion, which is why I know he didn't sign a credit card receipt because I watched him pay cash through the window. Not to mention they were smiling and talking for a solid 4 or 5 minutes, and he was on his way out when the cashier called him back, and that's when I saw him write it down. We've been exclusive for 8 months. Before that he had been single and livin' that bachelor life for nearly 4 years, so sometimes he gets out of line and I gotta reel him back in. When I asked him about it in the car, he said she was attending the same concert as us in the fall and wanted to meet up. When I told him my misgivings, he agreed and promised not to text her back if she contacted him. It's all good.

Forgive me FML, for I have sinned.

Hey, OP here. Here are some more details, for those curious: - All FMLs must begin with the word "Today", but this actually happened a couple of years ago. My GF and I are still together. - Yes, it was a full-blown panic attack, and the only one I've ever had in my life. Never having experienced one before, I thought it was something like a heart attack. What got edited out of the FML was that we actaully called paramedics and I ended up in emergency. - We got the handcuffs off and some normal clothes on my GF (I was already fully clothed) before the paramedics arrived, so there was no need for embarrassing explanations. For a minute though, it was a real concern. - I still don't know what exactly the trigger was. Both my GF and I were pretty nervous and weren't really enjoying ourselves. (We should have stopped when it was clear that neither of us really wanted to continue, but we figured we would try anyway.) I think her anxiety contributed to mine, eventually leading to the panic attack. - We *did* try again a few weeks afterward, when we were both much more "in the mood." No panic attack that time, but we pretty much confirmed that neither of us liked being restrained before or during sex. We both had fantasies about this sort of thing, which is what led us to try it in the first place, but reality proved much different than our imaginations. - For those wondering, they were simple police-style handcuffs, not anything specifically made for bondage play.