FML - The Follow-Up

He's usually such a sweet cat! I have no idea if I scared him or what :/ Still hurts!

OP here. First off, I would like to thank you all for not only putting my FML on here, but also giving me all this feedback! I felt like I would answer some questions. 2 - Note to self: Will try. 8, and several others - I actually do have some French Canadian heritage, but I was born and raised here in the North Shore of Massachusetts. 36 - It's real maple. Thanks for the feedback, everyone! If you're wondering, it tasted like maple syrup.

Hey guys! I wrote that FML. Yep, wasn't one of my best moments, but it's something we can laugh at now especially since he's usually the one that's gassy! Thanks for reading it and I hope you all had a good laugh too! (I would just like to add that I'm about to click "Spill the beans!" and I'm dying over the irony.)

The cat was outside the door, wanting to get in.

Hey, OP here. Let me get this straight: my mother is not abusive. She just has a sense of humor! The lady who called was just taken aback for a second before my mom clarified. She's just a character, in no way abusive. Y'all are ridiculous.

My friend parked between two other cars and as I was about to get out of the car, he said, "hold on, I'm gonna move to that spot", since he noticed the parking spot in front of him had more room. So he slowly drove forward for a few meters and then we were parked again. It was such a small distance and at such low speed that I didn't bother to buckle up again. Unfortunately for me, the police officer who saw me in those five seconds where I wasn't wearing the seatbelt, didn't believe me when I tried to explain that I had just unbuckled my seatbelt moments before we moved to that parking spot. He was firmly convinced that I wasn't wearing my seatbelt the whole time and gave me a fine of 110€... That's roughly 139$. I fear I won't be able to fight this ticket. After a quick search on Google, I found out that in Belgium the parking lot of a store is also considered a "public road". Ridiculous.

First off, you guys have genuinely made me laugh, even the less than kind comments have been hilarious. To clarify: the tube of icing in question was snagged from a discount bin because the decorating tip was broken, and an improvised opening with a knife was required. I didn't gouge a hole in it because I was spelling something out and I didn't feel like getting icing everywhere. In regards to my weight, I'm honestly not that athletic, I am a bit on the plush side, and yes, I do need to work out more (I go on daily walks around the neighborhood with my dog as a start). Baby steps, right?

OP here. Just wanted to make clear that I wasn't drunk and he wasn't either. I still like this guy. Every time I see him I'm falling in love again. Point is that I'm really affraid this wil not work out (I hope it does, but still) And i'm not the type of girl who has sex with anyone this easy, so I'm really confused what to do with it. I guess I'll find out.

Hey everyone, I am the OP. To answer your questions, I am a student in a ~50 person lecture. My professor was compiling a huge list of examples of bad tv on the board from students, and I threw up a few notoriously bad TV shows (like Keeping Up with the Kardashians). I vaguely remember seeing something on TV about GGW (a reference in another show). In the clip, a lot of girls partying and one of them flashed the cameras, but it was definitely blurred out. I thought it was just a risqué reality show with partying/clubbing, fighting, and a bit of blurred out nudity (like the Jersey Shore). Yes, I did get made fun of (the jerk behind me said, "I'm pretty sure that's a movie" in a snarky tone, and some people were like "…whaaaaaat?"). I kinda just looked around and was like, "isn't that a reality TV show?" A few people giggled, and the professor just blinked and moved onto the next person. Normally I don't talk about stuff I know nothing about, but participation is a significant portion of my grade, so I always try to participate any chance I get.

So I never figured it out (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't the God of Farts) but the computer was really old anyway, so I'm just gonna borrow my mom's / use the one allotted to me at work until I can afford a new one. Thanks for the suggestions!

Hey, author here! So basically, I'm in high school and the school I go to does drug tests to all of the students and it is completely random. Some people are tested multiple times, other people are never tested. It is basically whatever the computer says. So no, It was not because I failed it the first time or because I was suspected of doing drugs.

Thanks for all your support (or lack there of in some cases) for those of you wondering why I told them over text, my friends and I are very close and have a group message with just the 4 of us, the topic came up and I took the opportunity. I have social anxiety, and decided for the sake of my sanity that would work best. And after my one friend replied "k" there were multiple texts saying they supported me and didn't think of me any differently (which was my worry). So it all turned out for the best! To all of y'all who think being bisexual isn't a big deal, coming out regardless is a big deal. So please try and open your mind to how difficult it is to stray from social norms!

Hey, OP here, anyways I did meet with her today again and of course I had to explain some stuff about the confusion yesterday. I told her the true definition of Scientology which cleared some confusion up. Then I told her that she didn't have to believe in the Big Bang theory but she should at least know it and have a decent grasp on it. She basically shot back "I don't really need to know about it, it's ONLY a theory..." which forced me to explain the actual definition of a scientific theory to her , and I came up with examples such as Cell theory, how parts of gravity are considered theories, Molecular theory, several theories in mathematics, and a bunch of other scientific theories. I knew this would slightly upset her but I didn't expect her to shoot back "You're going to hell if you keep preaching Satan's word. You need Jesus, I don't know what you learned but the Bible has the truth that you need to know." Now that I think about it, I'd rather tutor teenagers who come from higher academic backgrounds ...

I honestly wasn't hugging him that hard.. We had just eaten and he's really skinny, so that probably had a lot to do with it lol

I was wearing gloves. When you open up a new carving block, there's TONS of meaty juice inside of there that you have to drain out. Some of it got inside my gloves.

Thanks for making me laugh with some of these comments. The back thing is an old injury that flairs up every so often for a few days, it just had terrible timing. As for the leg....well it's getting better pretty quickly (is 2 months quick for a broken bone?) thanks to my physical therapist and an awesome surgeon that pieced my broken tibia together. Now I just have to learn my lesson and not get on an ATV that my brother is driving ever again. But on the bright side I get to laugh at all the FML's and get a couple of months off of work.

I did run, but I stopped when I saw another squirrel looking at me and that's when the first one caught up. Greedy and determined little bastards I tell ya! (I'm OP, by the way... And a girl.)

Hey OP here, thanks for all the support guys. Luckily I didn't get into an accident. I was able to come out of the whole incident without a scratch but a massive itchy red welt. The doctor said I'll be fine in a few days time. :)

OP here... I can't believe this got published. After I posted it I realised it was kinda more '**** the pigeons life' well, not so much, since it was dead. Basically I was on reception that day and I can see through the front door's window into the car park so I do tend to gaze out of it a lot. I noticed the dead pigeon on my way in but I was already running late so I didn't have time to pick it up or bury it. I promised myself I'd get it at the end of the day if it was still there... well as you can imagine, it wasn't :( About 11am I saw this car pull into the car park. At first it went right around it, but a few minutes later I saw it reversing. Then one person got out of the car, went behind it and looked like she was signalling to the driver where to drive. I couldn't look as the car went over, I swore I could hear the cracks from where I was, it was awful. The driver then drove off of it and parked on the curb. I was so shocked i was just staring wide-mouthed as the driver got out with a huge camera bag and tripod. They then actually picked the main body of it up and put it in their car. It was all over in about 10 minutes, honestly the most disturbing thing I think I've ever witnessed. Also, I'm loving all the bird puns. I guess that couple made a right 'tit' of themselves, eh? :P

OP here... I have no idea why she hit me instead of asking me not to help and still haven't a clue as to what stereotype it was. I was waiting for my father to come out of the store when I noticed her crossing the street when she just dropped the bags I came to help and she swung whatever was left in the bag at me till I left. I lucky didn't get hurt but I was kinda humiliated but as far as I could tell no one saw. I got a laugh telling my friends at school though so either way it just another funny story to tell.

Hello OP here, So, basically this is what happened: As my dad is a pastor, we attend church as a family. I special ordered the cake and decided to pick it up, Sunday morning before going to church. The plan was to drop the cake off at my sisters house along with our two german shepherds since dogs aren't allowed in my church and I didn't want to leave them in my truck for health and safety reasons. So I picked up the cake, put both of the dogs in the back and placed the cake on the passenger seat. Halfway to my sister's house, it starts to get hot in the truck, so I rolled down the passenger window and of course what does every dog in the planet want to do if there's an open window? Stick his head out of the window. Afraid that he would jump out, I commanded him to "stop and sit and needless to say, as thankful I am that the cake was in a box, there was an obvious inevitable depression in it. Mom was too busy to notice since I bought her a kayak and a beautiful card. But lesson well learned. Thank you for the birthday wishes, and take care!

Just an extra bit of info: I was with my parents at the airport, so I did make it back... after 45 minutes of going through security and announcing that I was an idiot on the intercom so my dad could save me.

OP here! Just to clarify, I was very understanding of his stress. We both actually suffer from anxiety so it was a hard day in general. This was going to be his first night moved out from his parents though and change is always hard. Once we woke up the next morning I showed him we got published and we were both excited! haha no hard feelings on either side:) The honeymoon has been great. It's so nice to get away from everyone:) Thank you for all the kind wishes! We are both so excited to be married to each other as best friends.

Thank you, we're working on it together. It isn't an easy process as it is difficult not to take his disinterest personal, and I have taken it personal (especially early on)... but when you are compatible with your spouse in as many ways as we are. Whilst I may enjoy the idea of sexual intimacy more than him, at least I have someone who loves me as much as I do them. We have plenty of activities we enjoy, but he is more of the asexual type that enjoys a good cuddle versus sex. Which I have learned to enjoy more as we continue on in our marriage.

Hahahahaha! Maybe I'll make that my Halloween costume!

Hello, OP here! Apparently, the reason he has been crying is because the high school he goes to a lot of rumors are flying around- about Ebola coming to Maine. Thanks for the advice, but I have to say- a few of you are Maineiacs.

Just to clarify: I wasn't just crying because of the soup. My college apps are due Monday, I was going to have to be at school from 7:30AM - 8:00 the next morning, I have a huge part in a play and expectations are very high, SATs are Saturday, LOTS more. The store's official policy is to have an employee come with the customer and get a soup sample. The soup sample cups look exactly like the salad dressing cups so she probably thought I was trying soup without asking or an employee made a mistake, which is actually what happened. I normally don't ever cry in front of people but for some reason that just set me off. Hope that clears anything up :)

OP Here. I don't suffer idiots well means that I don't tolerate or deal with idiots well. Which is utter crap. It is an excuse to get out of giving me the promotion they've been promising me for years. Now they have an alternate (totally unqualified candidate) so they are passing me over. FML. Onto bigger and better things I guess.

Hi everyone, some of your comments truly made me laugh. But more importantly I'm concerned for those of you who cannot understand why I'd talk to a seemingly friendly old man when I'm in the company of my boyfriend, it's just common decency my dears. My boyfriend and I have a really strong relationship and we love to annoy each other for fun, he took it jokingly but pretended to be mad at me for a minute but then proceeded to hand me some hand sanitiser ... No harm done.

OP here- It's a long distance relationship, he told me over Skype. I can confirm that he HAS had a (long) shower now.