Miscellaneous, Healthy Lifestyle and Roommate: Zoning out - FML

Zoning out

By Zoning laws - 25/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommate and I got into a heated argument over whether people should wear shoes inside the apartment. It escalated so badly that we now have masking tape dividing the floor into “shoe zones” and “clean zones” like a low-budget international border. Guests have started asking for instructions before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 164

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Same thing different taste

Greased lightning

By NotMyFootprints - 20/01/2022 08:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my housemate whined at me for tracking dirt into the house, saying how she shouldn't have to mop the floor after me, and that we have a doormat for a reason. She'd have a point, except I always walk barefoot indoors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 155

Some fun was had

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 14:11

Today, I ate dinner sitting on the floor. My petty roommate got pissed off during the weekend and decided the appropriate action would be to lock all the furniture in her room and refuse to give it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 30/12/2014 09:57 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 165

You deserved it 2 999

Weirdo

By Alcina - 10/07/2021 14:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that my friend's "No shoes in the house" rule was only told to me so he had an excuse to see my feet. I found out when he had a group of us over and I was the only one barefoot, while he didn't care that everyone else had shoes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 125

By screwedhousemate - 28/03/2011 11:52 - United Kingdom

Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 945

You deserved it 4 286

Does not spark joy

By Anonymous - 01/12/2022 04:00 - Germany

Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 127

Housecleaning

By QuestionMyLife - 01/10/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack, and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 443

You deserved it 13 459

Bad diet

By Anonymous - 23/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Verona

Today, my roommate stunk up the entire floor again with his rancid bathroom trips from spicy foods so much that I ended up wearing a t-shirt over my nose just to play video games in my own room. He gets offended when I tell him to open the bathroom window to vent it out. If only I owned my own home… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 141

Worst roommate ever

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 08:00 - Ireland

Today I knocked on one of my roommate's door and asked her to stop vacuuming since it's was late. She started to record me and went on a tirade about how none of the girls there respect her. She has previously tried to push two girls down the stairs. Her lease isn't up for 4 more months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 112

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Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 826

You deserved it 5 236

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 645

You deserved it 2 779

Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 633

You deserved it 2 732

Today, I noticed my sister's dog was very sick. One trip to the vet's later, the dog was diagnosed with gut problems caused by bad diet, and a life expectancy of about 3 months. I confronted my sister, who admitted she had the dog on the same vegan diet as her, to “save the planet.” Selfish hippie cow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 635

You deserved it 120

Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 997

You deserved it 399

Today, as always, my mother hates my life choices. Particularly my hair for some reason. As she's always whinging about it being dyed blonde, I dyed it back to my natural colour again to appease her, and stop the constant bullying. She hates it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 221