Creepy, TMI Miscellaneous Why did you tell me that? - FML

Why did you tell me that?

mymomplucksbutthair - - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 30/01/2016 21:54

Today, my dad decided I was too hairy and taught me to shave. This would be a great bonding experience if I weren't a girl. FML

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Thanks for the info

Anonymous -

Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML

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Suspicious

StevieMe - - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

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Thanks, I feel better!

anon - - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend had cheated on me. She told me that it was my fault for not straightening my hair, and for gaining a few pounds. FML

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Hungover

RedheadA - - United States

Today, my husband and I woke up to see my drunk mother passed out on our couch. She was wearing nothing but socks. FML

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Jump scare

izzy46111 - - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

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confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

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Yada yada yade

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

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Self defence

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

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Family values

Anonymous - - United States - Houston

Today, my future father-in-law showed everyone a picture of his poop because it was "shaped like a banana." My fiancé's whole family thought it was funny and "looked more like a banana than last time." FML

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xAkonz 10

Wednesday 26 June 2013 8:27

I think it's up to the god Uranus rather than the brain gods.

Ian7890 23

Wednesday 26 June 2013 8:23

Maybe she will pluck yours?

badgirl00069 19

Wednesday 26 June 2013 13:36

I guess u know u really love someone when ur willing to do anything for them

that_band_nerd 22

Wednesday 26 June 2013 14:59

Thanks for sharing it!

Brock_Dudeson 11

Wednesday 26 June 2013 16:10

Why would she even confess this? What's the point?

Schiffy 18

Wednesday 26 June 2013 16:15

You and everyone who read this..... thanks alot....

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 26 June 2013 17:51

Why would she tell you that...that's kind of personal.,,

livilaughs 12

Wednesday 26 June 2013 18:07

love the use of the word confessed here! strange

young_weezy_fml 3

Wednesday 26 June 2013 18:47

whaaat

jonha21 11

Wednesday 26 June 2013 19:41

Hahahaha can she pluck mine to will I take a shit :)

LyraAlluse 25

Wednesday 26 June 2013 19:53

Such a touching and romantic story. This is the kind of stuff that they should put in romance novels, because it is true love. Think about it; you would only pluck out the butt hairs of someone you really care about. I find this story to be very cute.

inolongercare 19

Wednesday 26 June 2013 21:26

1) why would someone want their butt hairs plucked? 2) what would compel her to tell you that information?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

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Today, my boss gave me an "All You Need to Know About Grammar" type book. FML

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Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML

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Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML

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Today, I went to my boyfriend's house after working a night shift. The door was locked and, so I wouldn't wake his parents, I called him. Twelve times. Each call went to voicemail and I was left standing outside in the freezing rain until he finally let me in. What was he doing? Playing video games. FML

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Today, besides the fact that I hate Christmas since my parents divorced, my mom told me she can't come this year with my sister because of no money. We even offered to pay for their tickets, but she won't come because of the "last minute" stress. Fuck this year. FML

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