Intimacy: Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped,...

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 385

You deserved it 7 472

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Same thing different taste

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 247

You deserved it 456

By Wheresthecreamfilling - 03/11/2016 06:03

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 110

You deserved it 1 909

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

Long day

By Heww - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 764

You deserved it 5 465

You OK, hun?

By Porche - 12/11/2015 16:24 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 603

You deserved it 4 677

Pizza > Love

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 112

Yummy

By Cupcakes - 15/04/2013 05:11 - Australia - Queanbeyan

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 670

You deserved it 53 799

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 265

You deserved it 49 644

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 420

You deserved it 3 140

By still hungry - 21/04/2012 13:04 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 342

You deserved it 4 158

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:05

YDI for dating a cop(;

coralita 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 1:03

he should of brought you one!

Comments

CrazyGirl445 4

Monday 4 April 2011 3:01

the funny thing is that I always say when a mommy and a daddy live eachother very much daddy sticks his banana in mommy's donught hole

Loaded_Shawirma 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 1:10

He's going all the way... He is holing one, and is munching on one :S Smart man.

kathrynclw 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 3:49

bahahahaha! :D

ryryman 5

Thursday 5 May 2011 1:44

hahaha funniest thing I have ever Hurd watta man

ilovenoah 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 16:54

hey, whatever tickles your pickle...i guess lol

rusrsbrah 0

Sunday 8 May 2011 18:55

this reminds me of Seinfeld. the eclair and the one where he can't have sex without pastrami. lol.

lolabeth2 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 1:33

what a boss

jadejazmyn 5

Monday 13 June 2011 0:09

Fat asssss!!!!!

cudd80 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 7:22

that's sux he just wanted more excitement

bailey80 3

Friday 8 July 2011 6:19

and didn't bring you one?? ugh... typical

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The Top

Today, I was in my psychology class taking the hardest test ever. After I spent most of the period trying to fill in the few answers that I knew, I looked up to see everyone with their notebooks on their desks. It was an open-note test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 084

You deserved it 58 253

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 360

You deserved it 4 238

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 256

You deserved it 12 493

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 338

You deserved it 5 104

Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 984

You deserved it 3 882

Today, my boyfriend and my sugar daddy found about each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 6 529