Intimacy: Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also... - FML

By guest - 01/04/2011 21:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided that to help her stop smoking, she's also giving up the things that make her crave a cigarette. Sex is one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 177

You deserved it 6 680

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Same thing different taste

By TerribleAddiction - 15/02/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 486

You deserved it 3 357

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 626

You deserved it 3 493

By Spockx - 06/08/2012 11:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 31/07/2009 15:10 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I discovered my wife has been smoking weed for the past 2 years before she has sex with me. She said it was the only way she could force herself to have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 774

You deserved it 7 180

Renewed energy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2025 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my wife has quit smoking weed. Now she can stay up all night, whereas before she fell asleep around 9 almost every night, so now I get absolutely no time to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 392

By cigarettes - 11/12/2014 18:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I take that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 328

You deserved it 13 890

New kink unlocked

By poopface82 - 02/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend, who is embarrassed of her smoking habit and wants to quit, to smoke in front of me to break the shame. I was loving, supportive, and cheerful, and I kissed her after. I also got a boner. Now I wish she wouldn’t quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 623

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 486

You deserved it 42 544

Take care

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, after close to 10 years of marriage, my wife’s health has improved enough she is craving sex again. Just not with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 141

By seeminglyunsexy - 14/08/2009 15:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife decided she didn't want to lose weight with me. We were trying to decide on a reward for each pound lost. I suggested sex as the reward. She felt it wasn't fair to punish her just because I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 870

You deserved it 8 017

Next

Top comments

Happygofucky 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:25

Don't worry, once the stress from not smoking kicks in she will be begging you for a release. Have fun!

Woodsy007 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 1:39

wow. seriously? it's all about you. I'm so sorry your wife is trying to extend her life and a fantastic thing like quitting smoking. but oh no, it SUCKS being you because your just going to die without sex. boohoo.

Comments

IdontWanna69 8

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:38

You could shove a cig in her vag...

Decodedman 1

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:41

Statistically, women already live longer than men. So having sex now would save her from many lonely years down the road. Do her. For her.

Alderman55 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:48

Noooooo! by the way I would be scared to breath if I saw that guy in tango's picture lol

jared134 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 3:52

that her way of saying your bad in bed lol just go get a hooker or do her best friend

FMLsOhilarious 6

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:07

sucks for you haha

princesssisi55 2

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:13

well if she has to smoke to even have sex with you I feel sorry for your wife not you fhl!!

CassSanchez 5

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:16

hahahah !

Tattooed27 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:20

baby steps soon she will want it in her ass

j_cat187 19

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:25

tabacco sux smoke weed

MissBunny25 0

Saturday 2 April 2011 4:26

I'd walk up to him and offer him macaroni. hell yeah, bitches.

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