Today, my sister's Marine boyfriend visited my Airforce vet father,... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 31/12/2017 01:03 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my sister's Marine boyfriend visited my Airforce vet father, Army vet's mother, my sister and I and I accidentally said "unit" instead of "platoon." Cue two hours of getting chewed out for making the tiniest of categorial mistakes. I should have learned my lesson by now. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 15

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

Keywords

Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Jealousy Social Media Love Facebook Friends Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Names Music Customers Money Education Capitalism Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 74

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert." Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 153

You deserved it 68 062

The Top

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms for my girlfriend, Kim and I. I was in a rush and when I looked at the cashier realized it was her father. Nervous and hoping to reassure him, I go "don't worry, I'm not using these with Kim." That didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 122

You deserved it 72 607

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stays away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling, "DNA! DNA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 434

You deserved it 4 139

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say, "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so I replied, "What time is it? When is this fucking class going to be over?" it wasn't my boyfriend talking. It was my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 127

You deserved it 84 798

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 489

You deserved it 13 045

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 581

You deserved it 4 694

Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 687

You deserved it 621