Health: Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house...

By partypooper - 18/01/2012 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 960

You deserved it 6 705

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 466

You deserved it 127 874

By Anonymous - 16/06/2010 23:16 - United States

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 960

You deserved it 2 753

Freedom

By notsoaloneanymore - 17/06/2016 04:32 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 092

You deserved it 3 188

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 110

You deserved it 72 752

By blah - 10/04/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 553

You deserved it 80 704

Soooooooo late 2020

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 00:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 123

By whosurdaddy - 06/01/2017 06:44

Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 101

You deserved it 1 450

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 090

You deserved it 3 573

Quality family vacation

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Rotterdam

Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 109

By Jaclk - 24/04/2012 21:28 - United States - Needham

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 894

You deserved it 19 819

123josie123 11

Wednesday 18 January 2012 18:59

Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*

TheMaster15 10

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:00

Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D

Comments

vinathi 9

Saturday 21 January 2012 3:05

This is your punishment for being a bad kid.

TaintedCookie 3

Saturday 21 January 2012 4:09

Karma can really be a bitch

kittySplash 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 5:51

Get well but that's great your sick I had a party trust me it ended horrible your gonna be thankful in the long run

BloodyHeel 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 17:32

Man-flu.

Brak_Spaceman 19

Monday 30 January 2012 20:27

EAT PEPPERS

The_Mr_Troll 14

Sunday 4 August 2013 12:49

You'd sound just like me if you replaced "flu" with "Xbox".

fantasyworld 37

Thursday 25 December 2014 10:41

Get well soon!

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The Top

Today, after my man told me to get the dishes done and clean up the kitchen, he got mad at me because I didn’t answer my phone when our son needed medicine that was downstairs. I didn’t hear it ring because I was throwing out the trash, cleaning out the fridge, and washing the dishes, like I was told to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 304

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 734

You deserved it 3 518

Today, I finally found out what happened to my ex-girlfriend from my high school days, since a few years ago she suddenly stopped using social media and never returned my texts or calls to see how she was doing. Turns out she died, and no one bothered to inform me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 110

Today, I learned that the super cute guy I've been dating for the last 4 weeks is a total gross slob. His house was like a garbage skip, literally ankle deep in garbage, pizza boxes, old crud, and filth. It stank of cat urine and there was poop residue in his toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 750

You deserved it 483

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying, "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 2 236

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 641

You deserved it 3 548