Intimacy: Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn...

By theassman - 11/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 155

You deserved it 80 608

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 794

You deserved it 32 387

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

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You deserved it 922

By Anonymous user - 09/08/2018 06:00

Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 2 979

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 218

You deserved it 56 686

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 351

You deserved it 36 322

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 16:59 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 433

You deserved it 6 768

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334

You deserved it 617

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 757

You deserved it 10 254

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 520

You deserved it 9 798

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 2 623

GameRater01 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:33

I never realized there were so many people in the world without access to rooms with locks as when I started coming to fmylife

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:35

So is it safe to assume i'm the only one who masterbates to old Beatles concerts?

Comments

acerock 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 15:32

Just getting off with a little help from your friends? Seems normal to me.

bridgette5866 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 4:12

ahhh, that was punny.

watupyo 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 15:53

Hahahah #4, that's awesome. Way to be. Whatever, the Beatles are awesome. I see no problems here.

bombthedisco 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 16:12

that is HILARIOUS but im sure you're not the first. ringo is just too sexy!

uguysareidiots 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 16:13

are u a ******* retard? does nobodys door on this website have locks??? im sorry but that was totally your fault.

Joshya 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 16:13

I would think getting yourself covered up would be a bigger concern than minimizing your screen, dude. What would you rather your mom see, you looking at some dude blow his load on some chick, or you blowing your load on a kleenex? Gotta prioritize.