Miscellaneous: Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't...

By Lea - 16/01/2012 20:18 - Denmark

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 671

You deserved it 3 329

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Same thing different taste

The little alarm that cried wolf

By Nice smoke alarm - 05/09/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm has a tendency to give false alarms. Despite this, it did not go off at all when I was genuinely overcooking food and smoke was everywhere in the house, except for the room I was in. My smoke detector is plotting against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 562

You deserved it 125

Melting

By Smoke Undetected - 13/10/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 169

By im_a_mocker - 28/01/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 317

You deserved it 5 927

No smoke, no fire

By justme - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 066

You deserved it 5 295

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 495

You deserved it 6 973

Safety test

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 340

You deserved it 4 450

By cnkk07 - 14/10/2011 10:36 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 580

You deserved it 2 527

Toxic wasteland

By Cinderella - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 2 613

Oh nose!

By Fried. - 14/05/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 135

Shocking!

By Toasted - 29/04/2019 20:00

Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 2 612

HaIlegra 2

Monday 16 January 2012 23:47

Oh burn.

_Oblivion_ 12

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:19

It was letting you know your toast was done. Evidently your kitchen wasn't done toasting yet.

Comments

Isoldael 27

Monday 16 January 2012 23:56

Murphy's Law. Our fire alarm is just as bad with tons of false alarms, I can only hope it'll go off in case of a real fire...

ILEIKGURLS 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:37

That's a nice snake you got there. Fancy corn snake? I've got an albino lavender California king snake.

cassiebear7652 7

Monday 16 January 2012 23:56

Change is good

TheEpic 0

Monday 16 January 2012 23:57

I hate toasters, no matter how many times you watch the toast come out, youre always gonna be scared ;(

kittenvks 11

Tuesday 17 January 2012 2:46

Not necessarily, I hear that's the opening test to become a ninja. You don't jump your in. Practice.

DocBastard 38

Monday 16 January 2012 23:58

Sounds to me like your smoke alarm and toaster are in cahoots and are trying to kill you.

nickkingcool 0

Tuesday 17 January 2012 3:01

i just started reading your blog- its good and you are a very funny person

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 17 January 2012 8:36

Oh, those kitchen appliances and their conspiratorial tendencies. |the kid|

macdaddymady 8

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:08

Thats actually scary, considering you could've died.

rubberduckie94 13

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:14

Is that how the toaster scares you?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:17

It looks like your alarm went rogue on you. Get one made overseas, chances it will obey you and not rebel.

Awsumuzzie 12

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:35

You mean like a mail russian alarm catalog?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 17 January 2012 1:46

Yes, but a soviet era one. Communism leads to power, power leads to obedience, obedience leads to a future of prosperity. MOTHER RUSSIA. [A_TEEN's toaster]

FMLContinued 3

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:22

My fire alarm goes off when I use the dryer. I feel your pain.

loller27 6

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:23

what a douchebag

GoW_Chick 14

Tuesday 17 January 2012 0:24

Smoke alarms never work right when you need them to, and when they have a low battery they make that annoying beep, and just when you think you found the right one the beep comes from the other one.