Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice....

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 870

You deserved it 18 708

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Same thing different taste

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By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 7 410

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 443

You deserved it 9 223

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 623

You deserved it 17 168

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 509

You deserved it 7 494

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:49

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 997

You deserved it 3 586

You what?

By whattheheck - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 634

You deserved it 3 568

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 742

You deserved it 18 593

Careless Whisper

By ihatejasonderulo - 02/09/2014 15:32 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 687

You deserved it 9 975

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 364

You deserved it 6 336

By noname - 04/12/2008 05:55 - France

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 664

You deserved it 61 921

O_0 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 11:24

If i where you at this point i would practice...give her an amazing ****** and then stop having sex with her.

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 18:44

Dude you need to dump her. I'm picking up a ****-vibe from her. She's going to eventually cheat on you.

Comments

protooler31 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 21:32

haha! you better practice cause if you can't make her cum, she's gonna dump you for someone that can!

lover44 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 8:11

she wants the best pleasure and for you to' have it to'. but you cant really do it with a doll go get some live meat

SIMRRF 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 1:25

Hahaha! That's awesome. :)

bubbadubs 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:05

a blow up doll to do what?!?!

DanyelleH 2

Monday 12 April 2010 7:10

Ouch, that's a slap in the face. Haha

sassyjesSa 0

Thursday 29 April 2010 8:47

WTF haha that's hella stupid! poke a hole in it deflate it lol

little2103bit 0

Friday 30 April 2010 6:20

What a bitch....

sextacular 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 0:37

lmao

gbaby2454 0

Thursday 17 June 2010 21:07

win

egging 0

Wednesday 23 June 2010 7:44

aw, how considerate!

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