Kids: Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing...

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 149

You deserved it 13 665

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Same thing different taste

By Lickmebaby - 12/02/2017 11:00 - United Kingdom - Enfield

Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 767

You deserved it 524

By owwthatfarts - 27/01/2017 11:53 - United States - Worcester

Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 063

You deserved it 539

Ewwwww

By EwFace - 06/06/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 626

You deserved it 8 911

One happy family

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 518

You deserved it 3 520

Hygiene police

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 02:58 - United States

Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 877

You deserved it 17 022

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 2 943

By deerling - 18/03/2019 06:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 343

By even axe would smell better - 04/02/2014 18:55 - United Kingdom - Aylesbury

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 660

You deserved it 3 627

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 585

You deserved it 4 706

Catch!

By babybreath - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 388

You deserved it 10 350

Cloudy_fml 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 3:41

Gotta love kids, eh? ;) Maybe you should work on your *hygiene*... He probably only said it because it's true.

AliSama 17

Thursday 19 February 2009 3:43

he is 4 years old. What do you expect? Even if you are well groomed, people sweat, and they sweat a lot in that area due to hair concentration etc. it's life.

Comments

Chryssii 0

Friday 20 February 2009 1:14

OMG.... But you know what they say little kids always tell the truth.. Maybe you should do something about that little problem

dezirex33 0

Friday 20 February 2009 1:58

okay 1. why was this kid in ur class? lol 2. kids only speak the truth so maybe u shud do some cleaning down there and 3. thats just disgusting. lol

Hoff 0

Friday 20 February 2009 3:52

Hey, this is Nick, from your class. Thank your little cousin for me, because I wanted to ask you out, but now I know better.

BurningSnowman 0

Friday 20 February 2009 4:43

Am I the only one whose first thought was that you should have rephrased "...he pulled it out..."? Ugh.

Iwetmyself 0

Friday 20 February 2009 16:02

u*wh*auhw*uah*uWHA8UWAu**Uah*uwha*uwhUawh8UAh*uwHa*uw Kids OWNS.

krizzby 0

Friday 20 February 2009 18:47

at least your boyfriend didn't say that to you...might be worse

liveitlearnit 0

Friday 20 February 2009 18:57

Hahaha, all these people who are knocking your hygiene are probably men. Sometimes when you're wearing pants in a warm place, even if you showered that morning and were baby soft and smelt like rosebuds, it just happens. Especially if you have your period... or if you're particularly horny that day.

ridiculous_gnome 0

Friday 20 February 2009 22:29

From "Me, Myself and Irene": Hank: Price check on Vagiclean, Aisle 5. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, Aisle 5. Thats Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think its sourdough... Put a rush on that...