Kids: Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing...

By applesmama - 17/09/2011 04:36 - United States

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 488

You deserved it 4 689

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Same thing different taste

Daddy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy." Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 427

You deserved it 5 070

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 293

You deserved it 4 017

Charming...

By Anonymous - 01/06/2018 15:00

Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 408

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 891

You deserved it 5 249

By anonymous - 28/07/2011 05:39 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 16 970

By milf - 06/08/2012 01:10 - United States - Muncie

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 209

You deserved it 5 251

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 584

You deserved it 3 452

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 955

You deserved it 10 148

Pride and joy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 00:00

Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 378

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 297

underguarded 20

Saturday 17 September 2011 12:07

At least she's correct.

Hockey_fan 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 12:11

Shoulda been "Grab daddy a beer" ....he missed the opportunity

Comments

max13_fml 8

Saturday 17 September 2011 20:12

awwwhhh haha thats adorable!

livewire1701 8

Saturday 17 September 2011 20:31

I taught my friends daughter to say Jagger and Vodka. She's a hit at parties now.

GamerMaster2041 12

Saturday 17 September 2011 20:47

Ah i can imagine baby saying that haha Ipooooop XD

leadman1989 15

Saturday 17 September 2011 20:48

"I sheet" Op - WTF???

kenshimori 10

Saturday 17 September 2011 21:48

Her father is a genius.

ThisIsSpicy 2

Saturday 17 September 2011 21:49

iPOOP... Babys first Apple product. Eh..

Battle765 4

Saturday 17 September 2011 23:21

I would be more worried about the jokes she is going to hear when she goes to school if her name truly is apple.

applesmama 9

Saturday 17 September 2011 23:57

Actually, Her middle name is Apple @#53. Yeah we have all been practicing with her, but thats what she picked up first. Comes in handy :)

Egnar 19

Sunday 18 September 2011 2:30

You sound cheerful about it - seems like much less of an FML. . .

nagbackdive 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 0:02

That's a win!

mockingjay_fml 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 0:47

It's not that bad , it's kinda funny in a cute baby way :)

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