Miscellaneous: Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs....

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 590

You deserved it 7 684

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/12/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 439

You deserved it 10 279

Good bye!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2020 20:00

Today I was walking around the mall and I saw my crush from high school. He came up to me and instead of talking to him I burped, and he just walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 755

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 856

You deserved it 5 157

By killmenow - 03/12/2015 05:33 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I burped in front of my crush. Well, not really in front of him. I turned around mid-burp and noticed him, not knowing anyone was there. The surprise made me scream a little, which only amplified the burp. So I made this mighty belch-turned-scream noise, while maintaining eye contact with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 282

You deserved it 2 658

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 745

You deserved it 10 948

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 536

You deserved it 16 158

By perverted teenage girl - 29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 119

You deserved it 1 918

By Mojo - 14/12/2009 17:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 578

You deserved it 5 195

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 858

You deserved it 5 293

Prankster

By longlostkid556 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 727

You deserved it 5 893

daybid 7

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:21

Well that stinks!

anzie_fml 9

Sunday 15 January 2012 12:22

That's a very interesting way for him to be greeting you, especially if you're still just calling him your "crush"... O.o

Comments

JW_SR 9

Tuesday 26 June 2012 23:22

Ha ha ha ha ha....that's hilarious. I would have laughed it off.

RobinLink37 9

Friday 9 January 2015 0:00

My question is why you would like a guy like that in the first place.

chessdude 8

Monday 4 July 2016 21:18

just a casual ass grab...

ibra5428 1

Monday 19 December 2016 18:10

real classy

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Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 399

You deserved it 32 946

Today, my ex-boyfriend was granted parole, community service, and “rehabilitation” for the crime of breaking into my house, kidnapping my dog and killing her while I was at work, as retaliation for me breaking up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 118

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 200

You deserved it 14 792

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 676

You deserved it 3 188

Today, I stopped to get gas on my way to work. It snowed over the weekend, so there was mud everywhere. When I tried to jump over a giant puddle by my door on my way back into the car, I went too high, bruised my shoulder on the doorframe, and rebounded ass-first into the puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 312

You deserved it 1 945

Today, I had to sit and listen to my co-worker moan about how early he has to get up tomorrow to go on his ski holiday in France over Christmas. He also complained about how tiring skiing is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 880

You deserved it 2 430

Same thing different taste

Good bye!

My body hates me

Prankster

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