Miscellaneous: Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook....

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 21:16 - United States - Homer Glen

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 310

You deserved it 7 609

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Same thing different taste

By yeah_im_mad_bro - 24/09/2011 00:32 - Canada

Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 223

You deserved it 5 476

By KayKay - 23/09/2016 06:33 - United States - Ware

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 417

You deserved it 1 384

Mixed signals

By Leota - 15/08/2011 16:20 - United States

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 238

You deserved it 13 073

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 089

You deserved it 3 471

By thanksfyi - 02/07/2011 21:51 - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 560

You deserved it 4 614

By Anonymous - 25/10/2015 02:33 - United States - North Little Rock

Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 639

You deserved it 2 074

Thanks for your help

By Anonymous - 07/05/2021 20:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 553

You deserved it 64 386

By msmusiclover7 - 27/02/2010 15:58 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad recently created a Facebook account for himself. So I friended him. He refuses to accept my friend request. He did, however, accept my sister's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 625

You deserved it 3 596

Terrible prank

By Malakai - 02/02/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, while I was in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been Facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 866

You deserved it 8 487

perdix 29

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:41

If he asks for your help to find a place to hide a dead body, for God's sake, DON'T HELP HIM!

tygerarmy 35

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:36

Nothing like the love a sibling.

Comments

mcr2000 11

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:38

it is your brother he's probably just mad at you both of you will get over it.

miggles 16

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:39

He must be hiding something..

nana_star 27

Tuesday 21 January 2014 10:19

Or it could be that the brother just doesn't like him at all

perdix 29

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:41

If he asks for your help to find a place to hide a dead body, for God's sake, DON'T HELP HIM!

That_Ginger 18

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:49

Guess this joke is above most peoples' heads based on the down votes it's getting. Gave me a good laugh.

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 21 January 2014 1:00

Ask Siri for that...

Nilorak 24

Tuesday 21 January 2014 6:32

What downvotes?

That_Ginger 18

Tuesday 21 January 2014 7:02

When I commented it was -3.. If you look at all the down voted comments on this FML you'd think there were a bunch of down voting bots.

gabagabaheyu 10

Tuesday 21 January 2014 14:13

its like a down vote masacre in here

channelmonica 17

Wednesday 29 January 2014 5:49

@ #13 Hahaha x) I'll remember that!

jasminetslater 13

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:43

That's family for ya. My sister blocks and unblocks me about once a month.

teyyoshi 19

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:45

you take it serious ，he just want some privacy in China we are forbidden to Facebook ，jezz！

perdix 29

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:45

There's something semantically wrong about being able to friend and unfriend (defriend?) blood relatives.

YeahBuddy4322 9

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:51

Ah dang.. That really stinks like poopoo on Sunday

rosenkrieger223 21

Tuesday 21 January 2014 12:00

I wasn't aware things smelled differently on different days of the week...

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 21 January 2014 0:53

Is that a huge problem? If he is still logged in you can unblock yourself...

fmlxxsb 6

Tuesday 21 January 2014 1:01

oh thats very smart of you . i think you forgot he now knows how to block people now.

LuckyLuca 6

Tuesday 21 January 2014 1:07

That's cold

Kevdog824 12

Tuesday 21 January 2014 1:18

I could see that coming before I finished the first sentence.

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Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 2 858

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 009

You deserved it 5 024

Today, my boyfriend asked me to try humming during a blow job. He seemed to like it at first, but apparently, "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from Mulan wasn't a good choice. He still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 997

You deserved it 2 053

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 490

You deserved it 3 594

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 816

You deserved it 2 299

Today, my roommate told me she had developed a rash on her armpits, which causes them to be itchy. The doctor told her the only way to heal it is to not wear deodorant for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 180

Same thing different taste

Mixed signals

Thanks for your help

Terrible prank

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