Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex...

By Anon. - 07/02/2011 17:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 090

You deserved it 7 795

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Same thing different taste

Dirty talk

By CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 257

You deserved it 2 211

By fml_for_real - 04/02/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 290

You deserved it 6 928

By Anonymous - 21/12/2013 06:26 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 196

You deserved it 4 523

By Anonymous - 10/06/2014 03:30 - United States - Crowley

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 111

You deserved it 6 263

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 665

Read the room

By pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 136

You deserved it 5 628

Do that again

By lotrgeek - 13/02/2012 13:37 - Canada

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 689

You deserved it 7 154

Creepy

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 21:22 - Canada

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 064

You deserved it 51 021

Mr Loverman

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boyfriend asked when I was going to bed, because he wanted to have sex. With himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 309

Caught a stray bullet

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 031

You deserved it 17 819

hellblade36 0

Monday 7 February 2011 23:03

necrophilia much?

tnlander 20

Monday 7 February 2011 23:13

maybe you're too noisy op and he just wanted a few minutes to enjoy himself.

Comments

SpazzyPanda 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:04

British accent: I say... wonderful epigram sir.

sephoraprincess 7

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:21

yum!?!? lol jk....eww though

woopa18 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:26

at least you know when you die he will still love you

jillybear188 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:27

^ I laughed

dudehaha 4

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:29

it's different.

fishface15 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:33

necrophiliac!!! <33

KateKiddo 6

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:49

wtf? do they have meds for that??

smushies_fml 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 6:50

omgosh that's creepy! i would be scared if i was you

yeahiknow0 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 7:00

Ew :c

mattitucklove01 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 7:24

Omg ! what a sick person..

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The Top

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 3 385

Today, I was driving home, when some kid on a motorbike shot in front of me from the pavement, almost running me off the road. When I confronted him, he screamed, "Watch where you're going next time!" If I could flush every last one of these human turds from the toilet of life, I would. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 542

You deserved it 3 485

Today, my boyfriend said he had a "long nose hair" collection. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. He then showed me a tin of long-ass hairs. I gagged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 113

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 832

You deserved it 18 867

Today, I went to a job interview. It would have been fine if I had remembered it was over the phone, and not in person. I drove two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 815

You deserved it 10 271

Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 574

You deserved it 2 867