By theregoesmyspermcount - 02/08/2009 22:45 - United States

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
I agree, your life sucks 69 869
You deserved it 5 707
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Top comments

redbluegreen 40

I'd suggest you invest in a giant human bubble. Or a cup.

100 4

Comments

Lif3SuksTh3nUDi3 0

Yeah, my dad randomly comes out of nowhere to hit me or jab me in the collar bone with his thumb (hurts like a b if you've never had it done to you). He'll roll up a hand towel and try to whip me with it and he'll try to (or succeed in) knock my elbows out from under me when I'm resting my head in my hands with my elbows on a table or counter (so that I hit my face on whatever surface I'm resting on). But when I fight back or manage to best him somehow he gets this proud look on his face, I love my retired marine father, he knows how to toughen a girl up

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RaizenSama 0

I read "I love my retarded marine father" when I first read that. xD

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mugglewump 0

I read it normally, but once you said that I had this whole motage thing going in my head of how this could become a movie about a girls retarded marine father :)

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irockmyworld 0

there are other less painful and intelligent ways of improving ones reflexes other than kicking him in the balls. i suggest your dad do some reading up. or take a class or two.

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Lif3SuksTh3nUDi3 0

It's also Ooh Rah! for the marines, just to let you know.

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djnealb 0

There's no such thing as an ex-Marine, but yeah, that sucks.

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fudgemeister 0

There is such thing as an ex-Marine and I will soon be one.

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DaBombb316 0

apparently you have never seen a pro wrestler or a body builder

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kellster 2

Um, if any part of your father touches your crotch, please have him arrested for sexual assault, okay? That's REALLY not okay!!!!! But your screen name is made of win, on the happy side!

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ergo_fml 13

Better start improving your reflexes.

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JustStayHome 0

Lmao, right now. OP, your username is priceless, Win.

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b_radical 0

the best epic compilation of crotch-shots on youtube!!!!!!!!!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTpLbZsMn9Q

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kawa_fml 0

this has got to be the suckiest FML ever. You have my ultimate sympathies.

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