Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my...

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 171

You deserved it 3 988

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Same thing different taste

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 716

You deserved it 2 521

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 128

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 80

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 77

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 839

You deserved it 5 387

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 648

You deserved it 773

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 969

You deserved it 1 143

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 211

You deserved it 1 988

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 95

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 478

You deserved it 2 652

Nutz101 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:07

I have to stop eating while reading FML's

jojimugo 20

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:13

If you swallow 8 a night, you should do yourself a favor and move out of the amazon river

Comments

ThatAss 14

Thursday 27 December 2012 13:50

Reading this while laying in bed with a daddy long legs above me ...... Thanks for the thought FYL

reflexion213 11

Thursday 27 December 2012 16:23

KMN!!!

ashbash0338 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 16:38

Omg yuck!!!

khriss_khriss 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 17:46

Um ew that is disgustingly disgusting...

scottyrocks123 21

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:13

I love OP's username.

niquenique_ 7

Friday 28 December 2012 0:59

dafuq did I just read...

micahdunk 13

Friday 28 December 2012 3:42

Just another reason to hate braces.

ambipurr17 3

Friday 28 December 2012 13:30

Omg I would die if that happened to me :///

Krimzon 5

Saturday 29 December 2012 11:09

Tape thy mouth when thoust slumber.

bmxbikeco 7

Saturday 29 December 2012 17:21

OMG...i just cringed!

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The Top

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 365

Today, I found out that my mother doesn’t visit me because I'm the only sibling without children. She posts all about her wonderful children on social media, but I'm left out. She hasn't set foot in my house since I moved out of hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 138

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 856

You deserved it 7 921

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 101

Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 93

Today, my grandmother's graduation presents came for my sisters. Not only did she remember to send them cards, but money too. My graduation was a year ago, I received nothing, and last time she saw me, she didn't know my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 154

You deserved it 3 213

Same thing different taste

Hmmmm, breakfast

Top o' the mornin' to ya

The passenger

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