Animals: Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of...

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 762

You deserved it 6 451

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Same thing different taste

Link please!

By barbecued goat anyone? - 05/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 315

Help!

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 104

You deserved it 3 829

That's a thing

By Anon - 13/11/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 364

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 208

Rammed

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 510

You deserved it 2 371

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 754

You deserved it 2 743

You have been warned

By stay away from my balls! - 16/04/2026 14:00 - United States

Today, I went to the farm my girlfriend's parents live on. She was showing me around the barn when she picked up a tool and said, "We used this to castrate the goats… and I'll use it on you if you piss me off." FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 132

Pet this!

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 619

You deserved it 3 586

Don't feed the animals

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 14:00

Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 553

Beware!

By MomOfTheYear - 28/04/2025 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 664

Epsilonyx 15

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:11

It's obvious...she actually controls the minds of goats, so she told the goat to ram into your genitals. Happens all the time.

erinnrose 9

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:11

That's a sign you should get over her

Comments

Wyatt_Blair 0

Thursday 12 July 2012 8:10

Spit out your stride gum... Or goat will find you HAHA

metroapps_fml 3

Thursday 12 July 2012 20:44

Who cares?

shananiganizer 0

Friday 13 July 2012 11:10

Did it have horns? Oh and the goat too?

Joui_fml 11

Saturday 14 July 2012 1:21

If you broke up once, then obviously there's something between you that won't work.

diegocasillas89 3

Wednesday 18 July 2012 0:06

Dude I feel you man sometimes girlfriends can be pretty vindictive taking pleasure in ur pain lol

SF3P0X1 8

Wednesday 18 July 2012 20:26

Ever heard the saying "Your ex is your EX for a reason"?

pinkitoes 2

Friday 20 July 2012 8:49

hah:D

vicktoriahart 2

Saturday 11 August 2012 5:59

You should see a doctor about that

aarsch8 5

Sunday 19 January 2014 21:30

You are supposed to say back that the goat is better than her down there

Tytonic 16

Tuesday 16 February 2016 1:09

But really, who wouldn't laugh?

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You deserved it 1 487

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You deserved it 113

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I agree, your life sucks 33 647

You deserved it 4 857

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 852

You deserved it 3 182

Today, our youngest child finally moved out of our house. I went to embrace my wife and say something romantic about us growing old together, but she said, "Thank God they're gone, I can finally leave you." An hour later, she was gone too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 178

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 075

You deserved it 9 919

Same thing different taste

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