Intimacy: Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped...

By Noname - 17/03/2009 10:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 667

You deserved it 211 480

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Same thing different taste

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 255

You deserved it 36 424

Christmas shopping

By Anonymous - 26/12/2019 20:00

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 318

You deserved it 231

By notmydad. - 08/05/2010 10:07 - Philippines

Today, my family and I went to the mall. We all split up in a department store to shop for our own clothes. While shopping, I caught my dad feeling up a mannequin in the back corner of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 269

You deserved it 3 679

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 079

You deserved it 55 003

Comforting

By imaginationdarling - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 776

You deserved it 7 381

Been there, done that

By Christine - 30/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 116

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 376

You deserved it 11 017

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friend when I saw my boyfriend in Victoria's Secret - with another girl. They were joking and laughing, and I was really pissed off. So I stormed into the store and slapped him. He looked up at me with an angry and confused expression. It wasn't my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 886

You deserved it 91 404

Classic move

By Anonymous - 01/04/2022 20:00 - Canada - Saint-jérôme

Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 237

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 731

You deserved it 765

dammn 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:02

HAHAHAHAHAHAH , smooth . did she slap you back ?

amirn86 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 20:03

How do you not realize that someone is alive LOL Ditto #1

Comments

choppedNskrewed 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 21:58

and while you were "joking with your girlfriend like you were touching it" the person didn't notice some guy was pretending to touch her ass? lol still amazingly hilarious though

Chaith 16

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:19

I'm picturing the girlfriend speechlessly onlooking as her man suddenly stops, and plays patty cake with another woman's ass. I had a good laugh, but I don't believe this could happen. Just no way a person would be posed in the same place and expression a mannequin would be.

cra_z_turtle 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:19

I thought this guy was a mannequin once! i was in a really old messy store and there were mannequins all over the place...he was standing really still facing away from me! luckily nothing happened(:

PaulG10 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:20

LMFAO i dont blame you dude, i stare at people all the time in the mall trying to make sure theyre not mannequins. i seriously sometimes get confused and cant tell (not to mention my vision is horrible....

Prisoner_24601 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:21

OMG. That's hilarious.

dkm26 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:21

this is believable- I used to work at Guess and I've had numerous people say they thought I was a manequin until i moved. so funny tho &&&& embarrassing. I woulda punched you if i was that chick tho

gqduck 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 22:23

Do you live in San Francisco or some other place full of "statue people" who get pulled off the streets by department stores to be live mannequins? I could see how that could happen. Still, slapping a plastic ass is kind of odd.