Intimacy: Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned...

By clayton - 28/07/2012 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 519

You deserved it 44 222

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Same thing different taste

Lingo

By Ethan - 09/03/2009 13:35 - Australia

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 187

You deserved it 95 471

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 587

You deserved it 3 115

You seem delighted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 149

By AwkwardMoments - 26/01/2017 14:00

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 995

You deserved it 716

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 243

You deserved it 96 511

By anonymous - 06/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 685

You deserved it 32 311

By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 22:39 - United States

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 914

You deserved it 7 514

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 142

You deserved it 29 815

By bill219 - 07/12/2012 22:40 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 255

You deserved it 26 106

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 319

You deserved it 5 782

greenie213 23

Saturday 28 July 2012 5:09

Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.

hunterfisher98 8

Saturday 28 July 2012 5:07

Find yourself a girl bro.

Comments

Glassmaster 0

Sunday 29 July 2012 8:51

Hopefully it was an actual necklace of pearls, not...well, the alternative.

FML123456FML 2

Sunday 29 July 2012 9:12

That's gross you think of your parents having sex and you get a boner you need help

robberry 11

Sunday 29 July 2012 14:43

That's disgusting.

noisebox 1

Sunday 29 July 2012 16:41

Maybe you were thinking of pleasure pearls

bdun 2

Sunday 29 July 2012 19:10

Are u from Arkansas? Heard that stuff is allowed over there

Rasetsu 10

Monday 30 July 2012 2:38

I'm sure teenage guys out there have gotten boners for weirder reasons.

derecteevee 1

Monday 30 July 2012 3:16

karen1991 15

Monday 30 July 2012 4:09

O.O.........!?!?!?!?

gatorgirl2669 6

Monday 30 July 2012 5:29

when was the last time you had a girlfriend? online dating might be an option or therapy to help with your mommie issues... dude thats just sick

becca48 0

Monday 30 July 2012 6:30

That's gross

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Today, I called my mom to tell her that I'm coming over for a visit. She answered: 'Why? What do you need? Food? Money? I'm not going to help you! You're a grown woman!' And she hung up. I just found out that I'm pregnant and she was the first person I wanted to share it with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 333

You deserved it 4 787

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 260

You deserved it 7 705

Today, I discovered that my dishwasher has a filter. I cleaned out food from it that has never been in my kitchen since I moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 352

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 390

You deserved it 13 491

Today, after our housing offer was accepted, I told my parents. The only response was, “That’s a much nicer house than I had when I got married, I hope you can afford furniture.” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 278

Today, I crossed the street at a crosswalk and someone in a big pickup truck swerved to try to hit me. This has happened to me multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 117

Same thing different taste

Lingo

You seem delighted

Great chat!

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