Kids Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program....

Anonymous - 05/03/2011 06:07 - Canada

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense, saying, "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Halloween is cancelled

iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

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eyepatch - 19/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Albany

Today, while I was giving a school presentation about life as an injured, deformed soldier, someone asked if the reason I wear an eyepatch is because I'm a pirate. I wouldn't have minded, had I not been presenting to high-school students. FML

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FrustratedTutor - 21/08/2015 20:00 - United States - Andover

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that, "Pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

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babysitter - 26/03/2009 03:45 - United States

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

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Redhead4life - 18/03/2012 00:48 - United States - Miami

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

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Thank you for your service

Anonymous - 08/11/2021 17:00

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

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Jamie - 20/09/2013 00:47 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

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Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

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Anonymous - 19/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

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WTF - 22/04/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, my son and I were on an airplane playing "I Spy" to pass the time. The game went back and forth a few times when my son said, "I spy something yellow." After pointing out numerous yellow objects on the plane I gave up. He said, "Daddy! It's your teeth!" FML

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Doortje 29

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:12

Arr, time to brush your teeth, mate.

chrstygrl06 10

Saturday 5 March 2011 11:54

She's right, you must be!

chrstygrl06 10

Saturday 5 March 2011 11:54

She's right, you must be!

andruha1123 5

Saturday 5 March 2011 13:49

finally a funny fml

IrishSoulja 4

Saturday 5 March 2011 11:57

It's times like these where you have to laugh

muchagente 5

Saturday 5 March 2011 11:58

good acting, then

Sadochan 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:01

You should've been the ninja who single handily defeated he pirates with his sushi of deliciousness.

hideyoself 4

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:06

better yellow teeth than a wooden willy.

Doortje 29

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:12

Arr, time to brush your teeth, mate.

DaveOnDope 4

Saturday 5 March 2011 13:54

Arr, that's what I tell my mate too! Then I tell her, and here's yer toothbrush!

Abbeygale 8

Monday 9 July 2012 1:52

- 19. Killed it.

x3herox3 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:16

Told. :x. But still FYL

Trupe 3

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:18

Well you could always say that was part of your costume. But that doesn't change that your teeth are pirate yellow.

ambowew 7

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:38

You should have gave a crooked, seedy, yellow mouthed smile and leered at the girl. "Little girl, what's a horny pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty." I'm sure you would have been a hit then.

juanaranda1015 4

Saturday 5 March 2011 20:05

win^^ lol

ThexForgotten 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 20:19

lol that just made my day

testthecoal 5

Saturday 5 March 2011 19:13

win ^

UpsidedownKayak 9

Saturday 5 March 2011 12:39

Aye think crest whitestrips are in your future. You should get your heading to your local store and plunder their remaining stock, or arrrrgh you just going to stay in character.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 15:48

Agreed. Brushing doesn't really whiten teeth. Get a treatment from the dentist or an at-home product. FYL because your feelings were hurt by a little kid. They're so brutal.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 15:45

Agreed. Brushing doesn't really whiten teeth. Get a treatment from the dentist or an at-home product. FYL because your feelings were hurt by a little kid. They're so brutal.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Saturday 5 March 2011 15:47

Agreed. Brushing doesn't really whiten teeth. Get a treatment from the dentist or an at-home product. FYL because your feelings were hurt by a little kid. They're so brutal.