Animals: Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues"....

By That Girl with the Amazon Parrot - 04/01/2014 07:21 - United States

Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 308

You deserved it 4 256

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 246

It's not what you think

By tessykins - 22/10/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 388

You deserved it 3 304

Emo phase

By Anizzaf - 27/01/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I picked up my cat and he went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later, a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor, who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 272

You deserved it 3 148

By Anonymous - 20/07/2013 21:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 602

You deserved it 3 980

Down the rabbit hole of assumptions

By Not Suicidal - 02/07/2020 05:04

Today, a lady talking about the Bible came to my house. She looked at me and said I wouldn't need to cut myself if I had God in my life. Mom heard and did a thorough investigation of my body for scars. I had to bathe my rabbit last night, and he scratched me. They were from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 190

Thanks, hun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at work, one of my 6 year-old students, who has had intense speech therapy since kindergarten, told me, "I can tell you're hot, because you rolled your sleeves up." I was very pleased with his articulate sentence, until he said, "Your arms are hairy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 677

You deserved it 4 460

Bad women's anatomy

By Anonymous - 07/07/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 130

By loverofstrife - 07/10/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 116

You deserved it 5 619

By CyberPsycho - 28/07/2016 16:24 - United States - Nashville

Today, I noticed quite a few scars on one of my coworker's legs. I pulled her aside and told her that self-harm was never the answer, and if she needed to talk I was always there. Turns out she's just clumsy and trips a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 141

You deserved it 6 168

By rhartnett11 - 16/02/2011 12:56

Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 700

You deserved it 41 218

Robbieisadowg 16

Saturday 4 January 2014 18:55

I was in this exact situation once (except it was my dog). I'm sure people will understand (eventually). At least people care about you!

juststephhere 23

Saturday 4 January 2014 18:56

Maybe it's the parrot who needs counselling...

Comments

HJKM_fml 19

Saturday 4 January 2014 23:10

I had something similar happen only they thought I was anorexic. When I told them I ate plenty, they thought I was bulimic. In actuality, my 'sudden weight loss' is a side-effect of a medication I'm on for a completely separate condition.

frrnchie 18

Saturday 4 January 2014 23:12

ouch!

outoftown 26

Sunday 5 January 2014 0:35

How about a note from the bird's veterinarian? The one you get to cut its claws.

ilovemsminaj 13

Sunday 5 January 2014 2:09

When I was 12 my mom accused me of "hiding something" because I was on my laptop in the corner writing a paper for school

VampOfSavannah 31

Monday 6 January 2014 9:24

Cool story.

Link/DD 13

Sunday 5 January 2014 6:35

My kitten does the same to me and it makes me look emo

1947Chevy 17

Sunday 5 January 2014 9:44

I can't really top that I was called to the counselor because I accidentally stabbed my thumb carving. When asked why I did a sarcastically said it seamed like the thing to do at the time. I really wish I could do that over now because if they were to call me in over that today I would rolling on the floor laughing at that time I was just embarrassed.

kiaora_fml 11

Sunday 5 January 2014 10:20

Maybe if they dont believe you, invite the councillor around to see your vicious parrot, either they will take you up on the offer or believe you right away