Today I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive. Only... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 04:18

Today I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive. Only problem is, I had sex with my ex husband and the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend 3day ago, both in the same week. Now I don't know who the father is.... FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 98

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
Discover romantic anecdotes with a touch of awkwardness - because nothing expresses love better than a little discomfort! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

Sady_Ct 37

Tuesday 15 December 2020 23:00

Three days ago? Who were you sleeping with three weeks ago? That’s who the father is. A pregnancy kit measures hormone levels in your pee, changes won’t register high enough in three days.

JasonThorn 20

Sunday 13 December 2020 15:11

I would love to hear the "thought process" that led to this brilliant series of choices. Was alcohol or hard drugs involved? Deep infatuation with sex regardless of the partner? I really do want to know...

Comments

JasonThorn 20

Sunday 13 December 2020 15:11

I would love to hear the "thought process" that led to this brilliant series of choices. Was alcohol or hard drugs involved? Deep infatuation with sex regardless of the partner? I really do want to know...

Sady_Ct 37

Tuesday 15 December 2020 23:00

Three days ago? Who were you sleeping with three weeks ago? That’s who the father is. A pregnancy kit measures hormone levels in your pee, changes won’t register high enough in three days.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my husband had heart attack symptoms on the way to his family event. We stopped, called an ambulance, and he was taken off to hospital. I called his family to update them. They still expected us to turn up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 107

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 268

You deserved it 4 055

Today, I found out my partner was cheating on me. We’ve been together for over 5 years. I tried to break it off with him but he won’t let me. I feel stuck and numb. I went to bed early, only to be woken up by him (on purpose) a couple of hours later and now can’t sleep because of a headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 185

Today, my two boys wanted to sleep in bed with us. My wife gave them the okay, even though there’s not enough room for all of us to lay. I’m now sleeping in my 3 year-old’s bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 176

Today, I told my family that I’m pregnant. My sister is upset and refuses to accept she’ll have to help with the baby. I’m a single mom going to college and living at home, and will need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 2 336

Today, I walked into a glass door at a busy mall. Not only did I face-plant in front of a crowd, but I also left an almost perfect imprint of my face on the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 163